Ok everyone this is a long and complicated story so I will try to make it as short and to the point as possible.

My husband and I have been married 12 years, I’m 30 and he’s 29, we have 3 beautiful children 10, 8, and 4. We are both christians. My husband is a full time gospel singer and travels all over the country ministering in song. He started singing with a trio about 3 years ago that consisted of 2 girls, both 20 years old now, him, and a bus driver.

Well about a month ago I got a copy of all his text messages and phone calls (can’t explain how, different long story) from the past year and found out that he’s been having an “emotional affair with one of the girls in the group.

Both girls are really good christian girls and my husband is truly a wonderful christian man. I have always had trust issues with men so I’ve never fully trusted him, not becuse he’s ever done anything in the past for me not to trust him I’m just a very jealous person always have been.

However, I’ve always told myself “well if I can’t keep him faithful I know God can” because I’ve always looked up to him as a christian leader of our home. But apparently I was wrong….

Most of the text consisted of hey what’s up, what r u doing today just random things but it was A LOT!!

One day there were 47 text between the 2 of them!! They told each other they loved one another.

When confronted they both said it was more of a big brother little sister relationship but alot of the text were personal things such as talking about our marriage.

We have been going through a rough spot the past year but we’ve had quite a few tragedies in our family and we were starting to drift a little and I knew we were and I had a feeling that he was getting to close to her and that layed heavy on my heart because he was gone at least 3 days and nights with the group and sometimes for weeks at a time.

I knew they were never alone long enough for anything really physical like sex because of the other group members. But one text in particular he told her he couldn’t wait to hit the road so he could see her.

My problem is he knows I know what was text because I can read whats printed but I can’t read his heart or his mind so I don’t know.

I love this man with my entire being and I want to forgive him and move on but this is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced.

He has shut off his facebook and we now share a phone but he is still singing with the group and that is HARD for me, but he has to have a job atleast through Christmas because we still have 3 kids to feed and provide Christmas for and he is quitting at the first of the year.

He promised me their friendship is over and he will do anything to make our marriage work and he wants us to be like we used to to love one another when we didn’t have to love one another.

We used to be the couple that everyone envied, we were alway affectionate and loving and playful with one another. My question is how do I heal?

How do I know there was never anything physical not even a kiss? How do I stop thinking about every second of everyday? How do I stop the pain in my heart?