I’ve been married for almost 19 years (October), the last 6 years maybe longer seems like all my effort is towards trying to save my marriage. She was 18 and I was 19 when we got married and had kids a year later. I self confidence has been shattered to the point I question whether or not I am good enough. First my wife has told me she loves me but she’s not in love with me and I haven’t heard an I Love you in years. Around the house I cook, do the laundry ect I work full time and work from home. When she gets home I really don’t get anything other than a hi most of the time. She wants to go to places alone and I feel when I’m out with her that I’m not welcomed. If I have to call her during the day I ask myself will I be bothering her? Bothering my WIFE! Woman I have to kids with and I would do anything for. There’s nothing (other than travel the world) that she wanted that I haven’t given her.
I do love her and want for my marriage to work but seems all I’m doing is humiliating myself for trying to keep a marriage together. We’ve never had a lot of friends and out life was centered around the kids which is how I thought it should be. We did find time for ourselves and went out so wasn’t all kids. Recently we’ve began going out with a group of people and she has begun to show them attention I have asked for years. I know starting over is probably what I have to do but saving my marriage is the most important thing to me.
She’s extremely short tempered with me and will often have a different reaction to something I say or do to anyone else. I have forgiven internet relationships (which I hopped was only internet) and other situations none which I believe was a physical affair but there were feelings for someone else. I have planned trips, taken her out like I said I do all cooking ect supporting her now she’s back to school. I give a hug her arms stay by her side most of the time or I get a pat on the back.
In that group that we’ve began hanging out with is a single guy who keeps flirting with her and I’ve caught the flirt back. I’ve talked to her about it and want to talk to him but she refuses to allow that to happen. I might be seeing things, I might be trying to find a reason for my marriage to be in sense over IDK. The harder I try the more I give the more selfish and cold she gets. Is it time for me to think about me? My daughter will be devastated, she’s part of the reason I am still here. Sorry for the long post.