I was involved in an incident about two months ago where my boyfriend nearly cheated with a female friend. He had been text-flirting with her and invited her over to our place while I was out in hopes of getting something else. He realized he was being stupid and didn’t want to jeopardize our seven years together so he didn’t go through with it and made her leave. They didn’t do anything but talk. This is what I believe given what he’s told me.

What I knew about her: The girl was going to college with my boyfriend and only ever socialized with him there or during some group gaming sessions at the local comic book place. She had hooked up with another guy in the group, but they decided to be in an ‘open relationship’. She’s younger than us by about seven years. I always suspected she might have had a crush on my boyfriend, but never said anything about it because nothing ever happened to make me worry about it.

Now: We’re working on the road to recovery when my boyfriend gets this message from the girl’s boyfriend. As per my request, my boyfriend cut all ties with this girl, stopped seeing her socially, stopped talking to her, everything, because I felt he had to if we were gonna make our relationship work. In the message, her boyfriend is asking for an explanation as to why he’s cut off all ties, and telling him it hurt the girl immensely….and while she doesn’t think of it all the time now it still obviously bothers her. He also says she’s afraid she’s lost my boyfriend’s friendship. She apparently told him what happened, but he wouldn’t have minded if they did anything anyway because of the open relationship they’re in.

I had hoped that this girl would have gotten the idea she did something stupid and just backed off. Even if she’s in an open relationship that does not mean she has the right to hit on / go after guys who are in a committed relationship. She must have known it would cause a rift between us that would take time to heal. But no, now her boyfriend is getting involved.

I’m frustrated because I had hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore. And the fact that she’s still hanging on to all this makes me paranoid. She only knew my boyfriend for two years, and like I said they weren’t even all that social…not really close friends. Would I be wrong in suspecting she was actually in LOVE with him and hoped to hook up with him if I was out of the picture? Because she seems to be taking losing contact with him pretty darn hard for just hoping to be friends