Hello All,
I’m hoping to get some advice regarding my relationship with my SO. We are not married but have been together for 5 and 1/2 years, and now have a 4 and 1/2 month old son together. We have had alot of difficult times during our 5 years together, he cheated on me about 4 months into our relationship and didn’t tell me until after I discovered his infidelity’s lead to a child being born. (child was almost 2 years old when I found out) I have cheated on him also, I am admittedly no angel in this relationship. When I did cheat on him I came out and told him what I had done, I felt so much guilt when I looked at him there was no way I could have kept that secret from him. Neither of us ever “got over” the other cheating I dont think because we do still bring it up in arguments. Nonetheless we are still together. When we found out I was pregnant our relationship made a complete turn around, we hardly argued, I felt very loved and treasured and I thought he was happy with me.
Last December he went to jail for a probation violation, for 6 months, a month before our child was to be born. We visited as much as allowed, twice a week for 40 minutes each time. We wrote literally every single day and spoke on the phone about everyday. After our son was born I was still writing everyday, visiting twice a week. So we have made it through all of that, he came home Saturday the 9th and we are all doing well. I love seeing him and the baby together.

So here is my problem, or what I am viewing as a problem… we haven’t been intimate since he’s been home. I realize its only been 3 days but after waiting 6 months I thought there would be no hesitation.
I’ve always had problems with my self-image, self-esteem, and with initiating sex. He knows this and in the past he’s worked really hard to understand my very subtle ways of letting him know I want him, it seems now all of that has gone.

Am I expecting to much to soon? Am I just blowing this way out of proportion? I know lots of couples have difficulties being intimate after a baby, I guess I assumed the woman would be the one with the difficulties.

I am just feeling very neglected, I am a person that needs physical touch… it doesn’t even have to be a touch in a sexual way I just need to feel that connection. Really i’m not even looking to have sex, it would be very nice but what I really hope to gain is understanding into what I can do for him to feel comfortable with me again. I am so very afraid he’ll lose interest in me and look outside our relationship, I also understand insecurity isn’t an attractive trait so I haven’t spoken to him yet about any of this. I was hoping someone could get me a little insight as these are unchartered waters and I have troubles with moving forward unless given direction… or a swift push! lol

thank you for reading and Forgive me for spelling and grammer errors!