My husband and I have been together for three years. In the last 5 months, he started talking more and more with this girl who is only 18 or 19 years old (he’s much older); she serves him coffee almost every day.

I found out that he meets her for her coffee breaks in the morning while I’m still sleeping, and has been chatting with her through Facebook and text messages. One month I saw on our phone bill that he had texted her more in one month than he and I had texted eachother.

On another occasion, I came home sick from work, and was surprised to see that he was awake when he usually sleeps during the day. He told me that he was going for lunch with some other girl that works at the same place as the other one. He said that “_____ wants to go for lunch.”

When I asked how this random “lunch arrangement” happened, he said that they had a discussion in the morning about this place he was going for lunch, and he asked her to go with him, “jokingly,” and she said yes.

I don’t think either of these scenarios are appropriate, but I don’t know how to talk about it with him.