I realized that i was a lesbian a long time ago. But i have had a hard time accepting it because i want to have a ”normal” family and life. Im scared to come out and i decided a while ago that im just gonna pretend to be straight my entire life. I have a boyfriend right now who is the nicest person in the world. I adore and love him but when it comes to alot of the sexual parts everything feels wrong because i know im not attracted to men. Its been a few years now and we are planning on getting married and have children. I feel happy but at the same time the pain is unbearable.