I want to tell everything of past to my future wife. Will it be fine?
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Hello Friends
I am 27 years old single (broke up from my very first love affair but never had any sexual relation with her, I forgave her and now looking forward to my life and my future)
As you people suggested that I should get married after 1 year. I am planing on that. Now I am working on my personal and professional life problems.
Once everything sorted out I will plan for marriage. Thank you every one.
This time I have a doubt, I just want to share everything to my future wife before marriage. I do not want to make any relationship on the base of lie. I want to say everything to that girl and let her decide if see will marry me or not. Will this be good or the girl will not marry knowing my past? Â
I just want to be loyal to my life partner and truth is the main of loyalty. I just hate lairs atleast do not want to tell lie to love ones.
Another thing, If that girl also has a past and she tell me everything about her past what should I do? If she said she has sexual relationship with someone in past ( usually girls never admit that they have any sexual relationship before marriage and always pretend to be a virgin)
What should I do? Should I accept her as she is open hearted and did not tell me lie.
Any suggestion appreciated. Thanks 🙂
Answers ( 2 )
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No hard-feelings but we have come across this issue in the recent past. So not giving you a long answer, shall wind it in a few lines.
Sharing with your new wife might appear and sound good since you would have a sense of guilt removed until your wife knows your affair. But spare a moment and think what if she doesn’t take it positively and thinks you are a used guy, she need not feel this way, but!! You just don’t narrate your past, don’t let her remember or visualize every single experience you have had with your ex, simply tell her you have been dumped and trumped by a girl in the past since you din’t have a proper job(I hope thats the reason you mentioned in your last post).
See her virginity is of no use now, don’t dwell on the past, it happened man, just like you had an affair, she must have taken the guy seriously and might have committed but later known that he used her, so you just can’t reject a nice loving and caring girl just because she isn’t a virgin.
What do you expect when you weren’t a virgin and getting married to a virgin? Thats a small issue, don’t let that effect your love towards a girl. Anyways you have taken a good decision to put your past to shelf and start afresh, so good luck with that.
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Being honest and open is a two way street. If you have a past that you want to tell her about, you cannot possibly hold anything against her if she also has stuff in her history.
Why does it matter in the slightest what either of you have done in the past if you love each other? If you even need to ask these sort of questions, I don’t think you’re mature enough to be thinking of marriage. You’re also talking about planning for marriage, as if it’s another goal to achieve in the same way you pla to pass uni entrance exams, get your first car, move out of parents house. I’d suggest you look for a girl that you will fall in love with, honestly and without plans and timetables. If you find the right girl; what she has done in her past will not matter.
Just remember, love is unconditional, or it’s not love at all.
Salma.