Should I tell my Mom about my affair with her Lover?
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My name is Sonia and I am 20 years old, single living in Mangalore with my mom. My mom is divorced and had some on and off relations, one of them is with a Professor.
For the past year, I have started having sexual relations with the Professor as he was helping me with my studies. Just 2 days back, my mom has informed me the that the Professor has proposed marriage to my mom.
I have not spoken with the Professor since then. I am open to just moving on, but I feel I should tell my mom.
What is your Advice?
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Yes, you will definitely need to tell your mom about your affair with the Professor. Be prepared for this Guy to turn the tables on you and accuse you of making the first move and he could not resist your charms etc. etc.
Your Mom will not be too happy with you for impinging on her relationship, but this will help her to see her relationship with the Professor in its true perspective. It will also ensure that he does not continue 2 timing both of you. He must be thinking of buttering his bread on both sides with the two of you, and may be under the impression that you will not spill the beans to your mother, so that he can continue baking his loaf in both the ovens.
Have you stopped to think, what happens if in spite of disclosing your sexual escapades to your mother, she wants to go ahead with the marriage? He will then become your foster father and since you are only 20 years old, and have no place to move out to, the situation at home could become rather sticky. I have no doubts in my mind that this Guy, your Foster father, will try to continue making advances towards you, which will make your Life a hell.
But tell you must, and then hope that your Mother sees this Guy for what he is.
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Yes, you should tell your mom about his sexual relationship with you so your mom can know his moral fiber. You both should stay away from him as he is taking the advantages of both of you so he neither good for you nor for your mom. You both should confront him and then kick him out of your life as you both deserve a better person. Learn from the experience and stay away from your mom’s lovers in the future.