Is it safe to introduce our kids to swinging couples when they come over?
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We are married and an ordinary couple. We have two daughters. Few days ago we came across the idea of swinging life style.
We set our mind for swinging life style. We can take care of hiding our private life from kids. But we cannot hide our kids from other couples when we host other couple or we go to other couple’s house. Kids will be always with us.
Is it safe to introduce our kids to other swinging couples? Please mention any future problems which may occur with kids if we go for swinging life style.
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How old are your daughters? Children are very quick to understand what is happening. You talk about getting into the swinging lifestyle as if it is the easiest thing to do. It is not.
Are the couples you are going to swap with, family friends or people you know well? Finding the right broadminded couple is a time consuming and an exercise in patience.
It is always better to keep children away from such a lifestyle. But if you can find a way to leave the children with your in laws or close relatives (remember they are girls ) then you can host or visit the broadminded couple.
If they are school going kids, schedule your meeting to fit within those timings. Sex can be done during the day too, not necessary only at night.
You must consider what happens if the couple you are swinging with falls out and things do not work. If your wife is working, imagine the man talking to your daughter and saying ” I want to fuck your mom” Just to create trouble. Prepare for all situations.
Tell me, if you introduce the girls to the couple, what excuse are you going to give them to lock the bedroom and keep them out or your wife is in the bedroom with the man and you are in the living room with the man’s wife?
Not a good idea. Keep the kids away. My advice.
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Before we even look at the question of introducing your children or not, we should really consider what you are thinking of getting involved in.
If you and your wife have a happy sex life already, then I would tell you to think very carefully before you start interfering with it in ways which could bring about disastrous consequences.
A swinging lifestyle may look very tempting, and it indeed can be very exciting. But you have to consider a few things before you plunge into this arena. How will you feel if you see your wife enjoying sex with another man, more than she enjoys it with you? How will your wife feel if she sees you far more turned on by another woman than you are with her? How will you cope if two men both want to have sex with your wife at the same time, leaving you standing on the sidelines watching? How will you feel if one of the other women in the group wants to make love to your wife, and how will she feel about it? Further down the road, you have to consider the possible consequences of these things from a long-term point of view. If your wife starts to develop an interest in one of the other members of a swinging group, and starts seeing him or her behind your back, how will you feel if you discover this? The same is true for you. You might be so attracted to one of the other women within a group, you may attempt to start having illicit liaison is with her.
I don’t know how solid and secure your marriages, and I don’t know whether either you or your wife are the type of person who would get jealous. Some couples can quite happily watch their partners engaging in sexual acts with other people, without feeling the slightest bit of jealousy, but that is not for everybody. I have heard of countless couples who have finished up with the divorce courts because of threesomes and swinging, which have gone on to lead to illicit affairs, accidental pregnancy, you name it, the end is almost invariably the same, which is the destruction of the marriage, and all of them dire consequences that that brings. As you have two daughters, then divorce between you and your wife would have consequences for them as well. So, if the idea of swinging is just something that tickles yours and your wife’s fancies, think very carefully before you get involved.
If you decide that your marriage is strong enough that you can experiment with it, and experiment with other people being introduced into it, then you will need to explain to your daughters what is going on. I don’t know how old they are, because you have given us no idea. If they are very young, then you can just introduce the people as your friends, and then tell your children to go to bed. If they are older, then they will be aware that these people are there for some adult fun. If the girls are approaching teenage hood, or are teenagers already, then there is no way on this planet that you will be able to hide the fact that you and your wife are engaging in sexual activity with these other people. None of us on this forum knows how your children will react to this. A lot will depend on the kind of upbringing you have given them, particularly in regard to whether or not you have educated them about sex. If your children understand sex, and what it’s all about, then they may be able to accept the idea that mummy likes having sex with other men, and daddy likes having sex with other girls. But then again, it may distress them to think that mum and dad want to invite strangers into the home for sexual activities.
My advice to you is to think long and hard, and have many conversations with your wife on this subject, and make sure that she is enthusiastic about this as you are. Many wives have a tendency to say nothing, and just go along with the husband’s wishes, in spite of the fact that they may not want to get involved in these kind of activities. If your sex life has reached the point where you need to spice it up, there are other ways of doing it, without inviting third parties to get involved, and I would heartily recommend that the two of you experiment in ways of pleasing each other, rather than finding other people to do it for you. But if you can’t resist the temptation of seeing your wife having sex with other men, then you’d better make sure that she is comfortable with the idea, and then you will have to live with the consequences, whatever they may be. And as far as introducing your children is concerned, do what you think is appropriate, according to their age and their knowledge of sexual behaviour.