I recently got married via the arranged marriage route. This was a typical arranged marriage where we hardly saw or interacted with each other until the deal was done. I only saw her twice for a very brief period before marrying her, once for only 20 minutes, and once for only 5 minutes. I saw only 4-5 photos which I didn’t like, actually. She didn’t have any profile picture, nor did she have any active social media handle. Once we exchanged numbers and started talking, I found myself bearing the conversation entirely. Slowly, my interest faded away, and I shared this with my parents as well. They assured me that everything would improve once we got married and interacted with each other. I suggested canceling, but the venue was booked, and everything was arranged. I said, “Okay, let it be.” So, I started putting in more effort, and eventually, we clicked, and it was good. Except for one thing – we only saw each other twice, no video calls, nothing. It was foolish of me, actually. I thought that since it was already arranged, and there was no going back, let’s see each other in the best form and best dress possible on the day of the event itself (BIG MISTAKE).

I started preparing religiously for it, cut down my diet, stopped alcohol, cigarettes, everything, started sleeping early, drinking lots of water, and initiated a strict skincare routine – Vitamin C serum, moisturizer, sunscreen, mandelic acid, moisturizer, lip balms, etc. I mention this because I researched it from skincareaddictsindia and other subs and forums. I did all this while taking care of catering, booking, DJ, event planner, decoration, finances, baraat, my attire, and all since they were coming to my place for my marriage, all while maintaining a full-time job. So, it’s fair to say that I put in a lot of effort despite having a lot on my plate.

On the wedding day, I saw her, and she HAD GAINED WEIGHT! Yes, she did not reduce it or maintain it but had actually gained a lot. I didn’t utter a single word throughout the event, and even after that. But it was burning me from the inside, but since it would be very sensitive and rude, I didn’t say anything. Comes the time where she has to go back to her place, and then I want to take her back home, and her aunt says that she has gained weights while staying here. Note that she quit her job five months before the wedding and was just staying at home, doing her own work at max.

When I casually asked her, “Is it true that you gained that weight recently while we were on our honeymoon?” and she said (ha, kuch karne ko tha nahi, kya karti – had nothing to do, so yeah), this boiled my blood. I am here as a male, handling all these things, putting this much effort into the look, and you just simply gain weight because you can? What? On top of this, her dressing sense is disastrous. Oh my God. She is actually a very sweet person, but she doesn’t actually care about her look at all, which is quite ironic. On the other hand (not bragging, already married, so nothing to gain here), I am above average looking, to say the least. Each and everyone from my side complimented me, but only one person said, “Jodi achhi hai,” (which is a way of saying you look good, your wife not so much) and this is heartbreaking. Going through the wedding photos is upsetting me even more, as the camera puts some weight, so she is actually looking fatter.

She has facial hair on the cheeks, her nose hair was popping out, her hand is more masculine looking than mine, her dressing sense is… but the things that get me going are she is a very sweet person, and all this is temporary and can be worked on, so that’s going for me.

TL;DR – Arranged marriage, minimal interaction pre-wedding. I put in effort, but disappointed by wife’s weight gain and appearance.