Does my colleague love me or is it lust?
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I am Anita, 27 year old woman. I am not married as yet. I am working in a private firm. I am having a sexual relation with my senior colleague who is 3 years younger to me for the past 1 year.
He is not married and we enjoy our erotic life very much. I used to have a sexual affair with another colleague before I met him and he knows about that. But it is not an issue for him. He takes me on pleasure trips and we have sex while on these trips.
He fucks me whenever he gets horny like in hotels, forests, beaches and inside the car etc. But he has never told me that he loves me and I haven’t asked him. He just fucks me.
Do you think he loves me or is it just lust?
Answers ( 3 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
hi anita,
unless your colleague is a user on this website and decides to tell you here on this very question i am a little skeptical that you will get the right answer .
from your question it seems that you have developed some feelings for him and now you are scared to ask him because you feel that he is only with you for sex or he would reject you as a life partner due to your prior affair which he knows about,so you want other people to  tell you that he loves you !!
dear,the only way of finding out is asking the man in question.
before asking you should consider all aspects that can you take the relationship with him to the next level and finally to marriage ?
nevertheless if you have developed any kind of emotional feelings for him you need to convey those feelings to him sooner rather than later.
be ready for a not so exciting reply as he is 3 years younger to you and might find it difficult to marry you or may be he just wouldn’t marry until he is 30 or something. being 24 he can wait easily but it might be a little difficult for you.
so you need to sort this out as soon as possible with him for your own good.
best of luck 🙂
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
What do you want? The great sex thst you are having now or his love tied in the matrimonial knots? You have created a situation where he presumes that sex is all you want. This may also have been your motive when it started, as time passed you now want more, which is natural for a woman, though not necessarily for a man!.
If a man is getting sex without strings attached, why will he think of marriage and even if he is thinking of marriage, it could be with someone else. The fact that he is aware that you have slept with another colleague before and is not worried or did not question you about this, is an indication that he has no long term plans with you.
So, what are your options? One would be to gently bring up the topic, when he has his pants down (literally). At that time a man is most vulnerable…when he is naked, he has an erection is the time that he will think with his cock and not with his head. You could get a positive response or you can bring up the topic when he is getting frisky and planning the next penetration. This would also indicate his true intentions.
The second option would be to deny him sex till he takes a call on his future plans. But are you willing to break the union if he says he does not intend getting married to you or asks you to wait for a few years.
Remember, age is not on your side and he being younger to you is also against you in this case. I am surprised that you have not spoken about commitment so far. If it is the great sex that you enjoy , than based on his response, you can still continue but look for other pastures with long term benefits.
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Well, he’s certainly enjoying himself, and, from your comment about both of you enjoying your erotic sex life, so are you. However, I can understand how you feel. Are you just what he thinks of as “a good fuck,” or do his feelings go beyond just seeing you as a better alternative than masturbation?
The age difference is nothing to even think about at this point, but his feelings are what you need to know. You also need to be clear in your own mind what YOU want. Do you think you could live with this man for the rest of your life, have his kids, wash his smelly socks etc? You’re having fun now, and life is trouble free, no kids, no parental pressure (at least, nothing you’ve mentioned). Commitment from both of you changes the whole thing. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it if you love this man and want to share your future with him, but I am saying “think long and hard, throw away the rose tinted spectacles, and make your decisions based on what is, not what you wish.”Â
​ There are no guarantees in life except income tax and death as the grand finale, but if you make sound judgements, at least you stand a good chance of some happiness.
Best of luck