AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend (28M) because of no sexual chemistry?
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I(27F) am a healthy woman. I am not fat but I am not slim either. My boyfriend (28M) of almost 2 years finds me unattractive because of my thick thighs. I am pretty attractive woman as per many people but for him, my thighs “turn him off” It started a few months ago when he couldn’t get it up during foreplay. At first he said he is tired and then it happened quite a few times after that. Every time it happened, he blamed everything but himself. Sometimes he’d say he can’t stay hard because of co*dom and then he’d say it’s because he’s not in the mood but last month he told me that he cannot get it going because I turn him off. My thighs are too thick and he doesn’t like me. It was a blow to my confidence because I’ve always been told I am a very attractive woman. Then last month I cut my hair short for a change of pace and he literally said “I already couldn’t get it up because of your thighs and now your hair is making me feel like I am dating a man”… and that was the last straw. I stopped talking to him for a few weeks but then I eventually broke up with him. It’s definitely stressful because we’re at the age where our parents expect us to get married and stuff but I cannot stay with a man who can’t even get excited looking at me.
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You are not the a-hole for breaking up with such a person. As a guy I can tell you thick thighs are not a turn off but rather a turn on. Sexual chemistry is important and it’s good that you broke up with him. If he was having problems getting hard then maybe he needs to get a checkup for erectile dysfunction.
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To be quite honest, based on what you are saying, it is much more likely that your ex boyfriend was attempting to pass off his own deficiencies, as supposed shortcomings in your attractiveness and sex appeal perpetrated by you on your own, willfully, to his detriment, when he instead would have been better off being vulnerable enough to share what he was going through in the bedroom and admitting that he could use more help from you with the same, than you had already given.
Not that he was “shooting” a whole lot, but I guess it is safe to say that you have definitely dodged a bullet or two of his patriarchal self. I am sure you are beautiful and sexy just the way you are, now just find people that think similarly, and you are golden.