Am I eligible for marriage?
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Hello Every one,
I am Rakesh, aged 24+. Height 5’7 and a normally functioning body. I meant a Healthy body.
Firstly, I would like to thank all the moderators and especially Anjali Ji .!!
I am nervous a lot when my Dad had put a marriage proposal before me. The girl is a nice girl as per my dad. I haven’t seen her. She is a M.Tech Graduate and I am a B.tech graduate. I am open minded, wide thinking and working as a Tech Support in a BPO. My dad wants me to meet her atleast once so that I may change my mind.
My opinion towards marriage is totally negative. I do not want to get married, but after this proposal I am quite nervous and I think I should take a try. I mean atleast ek meeting to banta hi hai na!
The real question is here now. As she is more educated than me,, which means obviously she is more matured than me, if I go for the first date with her, what kind of questions should I ask and what kind of question should I expect?
And I have a very bad habit of attitude. I do not want to be refused by anyone. If she refuses me, then definately I will go sick and crazy. Guys, please help me. pressure cooker ki tarah sar phat raha hai 3 days se!
So please provide me a valid questions so that I can get prepared and go over there as it will help me. And one more thing. I am a Virgin but I do not care that she must be a virgin too, because I know what the present world is!
Answer ( 1 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
It is natural to fear a new state of Life, which includes sharing, caring and the unknown. You will have to begin somewhere and what better way than to meet the girl, whom your father has shortlisted. You must decide about your negative views of marriage and why you have them? Have you seen some bad experience in your family or a friend’s family? Marriage is a gamble as you have to live with a partner you hardly knew beforehand.
Are you settled in your Life? Are you working and capable to look after your wife and family. If you feel that you are not, then you can ask your father for more time to decide. But there is no harm in meeting the girl and talking to her. It seems you do not have self confidence. Did you not have any friends of the opposite sex in your college? Well, treat her just as any other friend.
The girl will be equally shy and hesitant to take the first step and it will be left to you to make a start. Do not be self conscious. You can talk about her college life, why she chose the subjects she did, what she sees about the future etc. What are her hobbies? What she expects in a life partner?
I am a bit disturbed when you feel that it would be an insult if she refuses your proposal. Do not have an ego. It will prove costly in future married life as there will be many instances where you may have to give way to your spouse.
It is nice to hear that you will not be disturbed even if your wife is not a virgin. Are you sure that you will accept this fact? From your views and personality it does not seem so. Your wife being more qualified than you and possibly earning more than you in the future, and even being your Boss if you happen to work in the same Organisation, is an issue. But if you are broadminded enough to accept a non virgin then you can surely tolerate this fact.
Just relax. It is only a growing up phase in Life, where you will be taking on more responsibilities. Treat it as a challenge.