Hi, hope you don’t mind me crashing your party, totally new here 
Didn’t feel comfortable posting this on my regular message board where I know many people in real life (yes, that speaks volumes).
Anyway, been with boyfriend for 5 yrs, I’m 49, he’s 50. My son is 30, his children are 13 and 10.
After 2 yrs of dating, I moved into his house, moved out a year later bc it just wasn’t working for me (he is too messy, has kids every single weekend, they are nice kids and they are even polite and a joy to be around, but as weekends are my only time off, it just got to be too much work for me), so even though I moved out, we agreed to keep our relationship going.
I’ve been mulling over the idea of buying a boat, so the other day, he takes out his Iphone to show me a photo of a boat for sale, and I noticed on his camera roll just before the photo of the boat what appeared to photos of a woman…didn’t have my glasses on, so it wasn’t real clear, and of course, he only had the camera roll opened for a moment before enlarging the photos of the boat.
In any case, my stomach felt real funny about it.
So, I looked on his phone (yes, I really did snoop) and there were three photos of a woman taken at the beach (he had recently been at the beach with his children).
It’s obvious from the photos that the woman did not know her photo was being taken.
At first, I thought the photos were of his ex wife (it’s not unreasonable to think that she would have joined them at the beach later in the day, they often still do things as a family, I’m cool with it, it works for them and the kids). She is considerably younger than him.
Then I put my glasses on and realized that this probably wasn’t his ex wife, she looked to be too young, and not quite the same features (but the photos were taken from a distance with some distortion).
The woman was quite beautiful in a bikini, model material from what I saw.
When I questioned him, I phrased it ‘are those photos of your ‘Sally’? He said no, I said, well who is it? And he said it was just a random photo.
I was like…you took a random photo of some woman you don’t know and who didn’t know she was having her photo taken???
Of course, he got defensive, but I gotta tell you…I felt like the foundation under my feet had just crumbled…have you ever had that feeling? Like omgosh, there is nothing here and there is no turning back?
I basically told him I thought it was super creepy and I was not cool with it, so that he should just go home and give me some time to think…he did go away but came back later and I was more firm and told him that if wanted to talk about this creepy behavior, I would be fine, but if he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, he should go and I would call him when I was ready to deal with him.
I told him he was sick and needed help.
Yes, there have been issues in the past with porn/trolling online, even on FB for women, and often in the past inappropriate relationships/conversations etc with other women, but we had worked through all that, and I felt the past year has been good and he was being what I consider faithful, both in action and deed.
So….creepy? Not creepy?
Like…don’t people get arrested for that?
She wasn’t underage, maybe 30’s?
But I was just floored.
Any help/advice no matter how blunt truly appreciated….thanks.