Can i accept my girlfriends proposal for a date with another guy?
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Hire.,
I’m 27 working in retail industry and in a relationship for almost 6 years. My girlfriend is 22, doing her MBBS abroad. She visits india once in a year and stays for almost 2months. During this time we enjoy a lot in sex and we have a healthy sexual relationship. We normally discuss a lot about sex and we share our wild fantasies and we had also done role plays many times.
Our fantasies include almost everything. But lately she is asking for my permission to go for a date with a guy in the country where she studies. Till now she had never lied to me about anything. We are so liberal in our relationship and agreed to give importance to each others desires. Now my question is should I allow my girl friend for a date(sex) with that foreign guy.
Note: she also told me once that I’m not a good player in bed. My girlfriend is so curious in trying out new things. I’m afraid that she might lie to me if I dont allow her.
I’m bit confused. What should it do… give me a Frank and straight answer guys..
Answers ( 2 )
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Unfortunately for you, it’s not a question of whether you allow her to have a date with another guy or not, whether sex is involved or otherwise. You don’t own her, and therefore you can ask her to remain faithful to you, but you cannot demand it. If you’re not happy with that, and the relationship!!!
Much as it might pain you to do so, I think that you have to accept that long-distance relationships don’t really work. If you look at the number of married couples who finish up having extramarital sex because one or the other partner spends a long time away from home, what chance do you think you have when you’re not even married to her? Expecting her to remain celibate, when she’s hundreds or thousands of miles away, beyond your observation, is futile. She could promise you that she will be faithful, but you will have no way of knowing what she is getting up to while she’s away. What’s more, she has no way of knowing what you are doing either. Her network of female friends may think that they can keep an eye on you, but anyone who wants to be unfaithful can usually find a way of doing so, and will possibly remain undetected for a very long time. Consider this, there are some people who actually have two entirely separate families. I remember reading about a Pan Am airline pilot who flew the trans Pacific routes. He had a wife and children in San Francisco, and another wife and children in Tokyo. Neither wife knew the existence of the other until the man died from a heart attack. Both widows tried to lay claim to the contents of his will, and the truth came out.
I only quoted the above true story to give you an example of how people can live for years, with a completely separate and secret existence. If I were you, I would let her have her freedom to do what she wants, making sure that she realises that what works for her will also work for you. Given that she has suggested that you are not very good in bed, may be you should get a bit more experience under your belt, and should follow her lead by meeting other girls and improving your sexual technique. When (and if) she returns from her studies abroad, if the two of you still care about each other, then you will be able to rebuild the relationship if that’s what you both want. And if not, it would be better if you need a review wasted your time trying to hold onto something that wasn’t meant to be.
Perhaps this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but it is what I would advise.
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What are the practical options do you have? I do not think you have many options than to allow her to explore herself, as she is not within your reach. You are right that if you do not allow her then she might lie to you so better to give her permission to have sex with other guy.
Now bottom question is how much your relationship is serious with her? Are you looking for a marriage with her? Are you able to accept her after having sex with other man in the country where she studies?
You have to think about all the consequences and then you need to take final decision. If I were in your place, I would have left such a girl who does not respect my feelings. She may present many arguments to justify her require but morally she should not have demanded such things for the sake of relationship.