I could use a little support. I’m in the process of divorcing. I am the breadwinner in my family, we have three small kids together. Here is the abbreviated description of our ten year marriage:
1) He was on dating sites within a week of our honeymoon
2) He hit me
3) He cheated on me, typically at cheap massage parlors and with prostitutes
4) He decided to stop working when our children were born and stayed home with them about three days a week. The rest of the time he “worked” for himself and never brought home a penny while I worked
5) While he was watching the kids he smoked weed regularly and at least once, invited expensive prostitutes home to our house to provide sexual favors and “meet the kids” – best part, I paid for that
6) He threw our first puppy and broke her leg. He then poisoned and strangled his cat when she was ill and he didn’t want to pay to put her down. He stabbed a fox up on the road that had been hit by a car (in front of our neighbor) rather than call the authorities, and finally, he stabbed our new puppy to death in the back yard, while the kids and I were home, after I begged him not to.
7) Turns out he maintained an emotional affair with his high school girlfriend throughout our 10 year marriage, on and off. Interestingly, this was the final straw for me.

When I wanted him out of the house I turned to some mutual friends in a local church that we were both mildly involved in. They called their pastor and we had a meeting. Soon thereafter he became an evangelical Christian/born again Christian.

So here’s the thing: everybody in the church thinks he’s awesome. Meanwhile, he’s still treating us quite badly. I have the kids most of the time. He doesn’t pay child support and I have to pay him alimony. When this is all done he walks away with his car and I walk away with $85k in debt. We had to sell the house and I have to give him all the profit. He tells the kids that I am mean to him and is very inconsistent about when he picks up or drops them off, or even about their care when he’s with them. None of this would be an issue if our mutual friends weren’t involved (as this is just typical behavior for him) but when I get to hear about how much baggage I have and how much I have to work on… and then how well he’s doing given that he’s now a Christian, I want to scream. I was told not to attend the church as it’s “his” place to work on his things and i should find somewhere else to go. Meanwhile, he is taking my children there… and I’m not welcome there!

It’s all so hurtful. Any suggestions?