How can i find someone to share my feelings?Feel nervous,down!
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I am Jay 26 male from Gujarat and suffering from a depression as is evident from some online test I carried out on sites, I have almost everything a young boy can have @ 75 Facebook friends and 4 family members, but still no one to talk to share my feelings , I have tasted failure for 7 years now .In every field, every exam I reach to final stage and like fail in the end. now i have exams next month and I am trying to prepare at my best ,but these days I am going through loneliness, I cant sleep at night as I keep thinking of how much have left to read to complete my exam portion, but when I sit to read I just can’t concentrate. I am not able to focus why? And why I have no one to talk to about this? Is this due to my age and do I need to loose my virginity? is there any correlation between focusing, reading and sex……..as I did have many chances in my college days but I was immature to handle girls and not took advantage. Still I think I care more about feelings, is that wrong? What should I do and how do I find someone to talk about this? I tried more then 15 chat sites and all are flooded, even chatting sites have no place for me…..I need to pass my exams next month and. i m pretty Confident that if. Can focus I surely will get through……please help how to overcome this????
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Jay, Remember everyone, once in a while goes through the phase through which you are passing presently. Nothing interests you, no one shows any interest in you . If you do not talk with anyone, no one cares to talk with you. No one shares your pains, defeats, wounds, misery.
So first of all try to enjoy being with yourself .Think and retrospect , What mistakes, errors you committed in the past that made you sad and make a resolution with yourself that you never will commit such silly,stupid mistakes again .
And enjoy your company means not taking to drinking or starting smoking or trying to seduce any woman/girl. Do it in a positive way! Try to learn good things. The one advertisement which i always remember goes like this is What was the last time you did something for the first time!'(it was an advt of major infotainment TV channel) Our life is so cyclic, predictable, routine that we do not even try to have vision beyond imminent immediate future. Rather if you will do or try to learn to do the things you know you will enjoy, it will reduce your pains and misery . I am 46 now and i too was going through a phase like you are when i was of your age . No one to talk to and was living in a bachelor pad. Just today while i was going through my stuff i found a diary in which i used to write something daily in those days. What is not there ?
Apart from day to day happenings date wise there are good quotes which i came across, then there were some paragraphs from the books i have read and poems and songs among other things.(Now its fun to find the rates of the things, like a minimum fare of a local train in Mumbai in those good old days)
and my own poems, planning and expectations from future , have written about the persons who are almost forgotten now and hardly i can recall some of them vaguely . The persons whom we think are ours are felt so remote and aloof that its hard to believe that once they were inseparable from us! This is only one example. On these lines you can do things like reading, exercising, writing. Even reading any newspaper completely would keep you occupied for good part of time . Learn to enjoy life the way it is and as it comes to you. Try to make your future but while making it never forget to enjoy the present.
Thanks for reading this rather long answer .
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I have have depression and from my own experience i have to say the following.
Do not go to a psychitrist immediately instead foloow what i find effective to me,
1- to start with you go for long walks on a daily basis, you must sweat by walking three or four kms daily. you must feel the body warmed up with sweating.
2- then start doing physical execises daily, again you must sweat. rigorous execises will help. you start doing simple exercises at first.
3- join a health club or gym.
4- eating bananas and eating ground nuts help. all nuts useful. bcomplex capsules also help. fish oil with omega3 helps. but all thses should be along with physical exercises. it is the best antidote for depression. i can say from my experience that , it is the only antidote.
5- in my case going to a psychitrist worsened the situation. it is vry difficult to get out of such medicines. ven now one psychitrist i see, say not to take any tabs as the side effects are very bad.
6- so my earnest request is that you follow the tips above, especially EXERCISES, and see the results in a short time.
– ayurvedic medicines with ” brahmi’ and ” aswagandha”( NOT BRAND NAME) is very useful.
7- if needed consult an Ayurvedic doctor.
i want to tell you one more thing- without physical activity/ physical exercise it is almost impossible to beat depression. and if you take psychitric medicines you will not be able to exercise due to side effects.
do not take alcohol. it will give more depression. do not smoke also.
8- breathing exercise like Pranayama is very helpful.
9- get a friends help if necessary to start on the course of actions suggested above.
i have gone throgh this and at times still i have this depression but i manage with the above methods effecively.
good luck…you will get over it . start now with a long walk in the early morning sun light