How do I explain to her that it was an accident and will not happen again?
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I and my cousin (my mother’s younger Sister’s Daughter) love each other very much right from childhood and we are very close to each other. For last few years, we are extremely close and we chat all day online and call each other daily. We are very happy.
But a few days ago, I went to her home and there in the night we slept together. We normally hug each other and kiss each other on the cheeks, which is normal for us but on that night we went further. We played with each other’s body and private parts. We did not have sex. But after that day, she does not talk to me normally as before.
She did all this with her own wish and I did not force her. She also enjoyed at that time. But now she thinks she has done a sin. She feels guilty about all this. I tried to explain to her that it was just an accident and it will never happen again. I told her to forget the incident. She said ok. I am normal but still she is not behaving like she behaved previously.
I don’t want to lose her. I really love her very much. Please help me. How should I explain to her, that it was an accident. I just love her and don’t want to sleep with her.
Please help me.
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Whatever you say or do at present will not help matters. You should lie low for a few days. Be as normal as possible and do not bring up the topic again.
It is quite a trauma for a woman when she gives into her sexual desires. Since this was not planned, it must be quite a shock to her, to know how her body responded to your sexual overtures. The body has its own mechanism to respond when there is sexual stimulation and even though you may feel guilty at that time, the physical response will be more powerful than the mental block. The feeling of guilt will come later.
Don’t blame yourself. It happened, and you have promised her that it will not happen again. You should be thankful that there was no penetration. It could have easily happened in the spur of the moment. Try to convince her that you love her and will stand by her in the future.
You have not said what her feelings are for you. Does she love you too? If it is a Love relationship, then say it with flowers and treats, that she means a lot to you. Be patient. Things will be fine
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Here, I want to mention one thing before this incident. This happened 7 days ago. Before that incident about 8 days ago, it was her birthday. I went to her city to surpruse her.
We cut a cake and that night I stayed at her home. We all cousins sleep in one room where she and I sleep near each other. That night, I played with her belly. 3-4 times, I took my finger near her lips and every time she stopped me and held my hand. I put it on her boobs. When it happened again and again, I thought she wants me to press so I press it and put my hand inside her top.
After that, I dont know what happened, but she removed my hand and slept. In the morning, when I returned to my city, and wee spoke again she got angry. She said she was asleep and does not remeber anything. She said if I take your hand there in my sleep, where is your sense that it is wrong?
I am your younger sister. You should stop me that it is wrong not to support me or be a partner of my crime. She said she was in a dream. Then I agreed that it was my mistake.
Things got normal but now this time she thinks it is a sin. She begins to cry and says I am not a good sister nor a good daughter. I lost every thing. Please forgive me. I some how want to explain that it was an accident and give her the examples of mythology.
But still she is not behaving normal. I said to her if there is any problem you can share with me or talk to me so that you can come over it because talking is a best thing. She does not want to talk on this.