How do I forget my first love, now that I am married?
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I was in love for 7 years before we broke up. Now I am married and happy, but many times there are incidents that remind me of her and won’t allow me to forget my 1st love.
This is slowly but steadily eating me up. What can I do to forget her?
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We understand your pain. Forgetting your first love is never easy. But now that you are married, you have to make the effort not only for your own peace of mind, but also for the sake of your spouse.
You must have the wish to get over the bond that you feels binds you with your first love. Only then our advice and ways to do so, will benefit you.
First, you must avoid any communication with her. It is the only thing that works. You may feel that you can still be friends but it does not work that way. You now have a focus and let that focus be your wife.
Think of the reasons why you broke up and though these may be bitter, it will help you to remember the things that you both could not agree upon. Usually in heartbreak, you tend to remember only the things that you loved about your Ex. And the happy moments you spent together. Instead think of the irritating habits, angry words and the letdowns, that was the reason for the breakup.
Remember there is a reason you married your wife and think of the positives of this relationship. Though this may sound funny, take the help of your wife to forget your Ex. Your wife is now your best friend and she will help you with comfort and support. It does not make sense to let your problems affect your relationship with your wife.
One way of overcoming your misplaced grief is to involve yourself in some hobby. Watching TV and reading newspapers do not qualify as hobbies. Learn a new language, instrument or skill. Do not engross yourself in music that involves sad love songs or movies that are sad romance. Do not wallow in self pity.
Remember the past is not worth it. The present is. You are better off, without someone you thought you loved, but who left you. Do not pine for someone who will not pine for you. Be grateful for the experience of your first love and the maturity it has taught you. Recognize that you have the power of choice in your life. You can choose to be held back by this loss or you can choose to learn from it and move on to be with a person who is wiser and more compassionate.
Remember you are not the only one who has had their hearts broken. Finally if all else fails, do seek medical help.