Good day, all.

My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. The first year or so, sex was really wonderful for both of us. However, the last 3 years, we have had issues on how often we should have sex. He would like to have sex at any given moment of the day…everyday, where as I would prefer to only have sex a couple of times a week at best. In my early 30s, my sex drive was through the roof…but it has tapered down tremendously. He 4 years younger than I am, and his sex drive is INSANE! 

The problem is that now, he hounds me for it. He talks about it constantly, he asks for it all the time. Even at the most inappropriate times…like when my 2 young boys are running around the house, when they have friends over….WHEN WE HAVE FRIENDS OVER! He has recently changed jobs and travels a lot during the work week, so he isn’t home every day like he once was. But, on the days that he is here, he hounds me for it. When I tell him that I don’t want to at that moment, or lets wait until the kids go to bed, or like last night, we had a late supper and went straight to bed…I was full from supper and he asked and I said lets wait because my tummy was full…he got really upset. Anytime I say not right now or no or anything to that effect, he gets really upset…to the point that he throws a fit. I find myself doing it just to shut him up…and it sometimes breeds animosity for me…and him. We have tried to have a conversation about it and he tells me that he is so attracted to me and loves me so much and that is the only way he feels like I love him or that we feel connected. In turn, it makes me feel bad and makes me feel like I am denying him of love, which I definitely am not. I show him in many ways that I love him as well as telling him often. I know that sex is a vital part of a relationship, however, it is not the most important part…

I would like to hear some suggestions on how to have a “diplomatic” converstaion with him, that doesn’t hurt his feelings, but gets my point across…as well as coming up with some sort of compromise that makes us both happy.

Thank Y’all!