I am 19 years old. I have completely stopped masturbation. From childhood, I was very curious about husband-wife relationship. I had sex fantasies about my aunty, cousin sister, my maid etc. When I was young, I took off my cousin sister’s clothes  and kissed her body. I did it four to five times but I realized my mistake and stopped it.

Then I went to KVS and played lot of sports there. At that time my mind was free of those bad things, but I was doing some strange things. Whenever I stared at someone, I thought that my energy and my IQ will go to that person, so to stop that I took name of God.

In class 10, I started masturbation. I had different fantasies about my cousin sister, my aunty, my Mami and Mami’s daughter. I failed to crack JEE advance. I began to fantasize about my aunty who had 2 children. She is medium height and has slim body and her husband don’t like her. I imagined that she is in bed with me and I am doing sex with her. Sometimes, I used to fantasize that she was married to me and I will ask her for give birth to my child.

I didn’t have sex with any woman. I respect women but sometimes I am unable to control my urge and then I masturbate again. I believe in God and am also afraid that he will give me punishment.

Now I feel very bad and I have lots of guilt. How can I get rid of this? Is it normal to have such  fantasies? Am I psychologically unfit? Is it normal behaviour? Does everyone have such problems? Does masturbating affect your decision making?