How to handle this anxiety and stop incest role playing?
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I am 24 years old. I have problem of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and social anxiety right from my childhood which has manifested in anxiety disorder and depression now.
I don’t want to post such kind of question here but this is my last resort as I am feeling like hell. I am turned on by incest porn but would never like to even think about my family members in this way. Recently I and my girlfriend tried some new things in role play, where we played rhe role of mother and son but I never ever fantasized about my mom.
Only erotic chat arouses me just like reading a sex story and we used dirty words or slangs for that role play but didn’t take name of anybody or even think about them. After that I felt like that It was very gross to do that. But i have done this a couple of times. Lastly I want to get out of this hell. I seriously don’t want to read these kind of stuff. I have controlled myself for a couple of months but then I gave in to that. My anxiety has become extreme by thinking that I am very bad. I lost my mother 5 years back.
How to handle all these issues. Please help me.
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Having incestuous thoughts at the age of 24 while having a regular sexual partner can be termed under the category of hyper sexuality. Usually incestuous thoughts should get over in a person by the age of 14 or when he/she gets a sexual partner.
What you’re suffering from is not a combination of anxiety disorder and depression. You are suffering from bi polar disorder. Bi polar disorder is a combination of mania and depression. The mania component has been wrongly interpreted by your treating doctor as anxiety and it commonly is. So, please visit your psychiatrist and tell him/her that you’re having the hyper sexuality component which will help your doctor to diagnose correctly and treat you appropriately.
Taking anti depression medication will not work for you in anyway. I think that since you’re even taking anti anxiety medication, which makes your bi polar disorder even worse.
The medication for bi polar disorder is just a single drug and will work effectively for you. You will slowly lose you’re hyper sexuality and hence the incestuous thoughts, while also treating your depression.
As such bi polar disorder can’t be treated without medication, so go to your psychiatrist as soon as possible. I don’t think it’s possible to help you more on an internet based platform. Your issues and in extension your future can ultimately be dependent on the correct treatment that you receive and follow.
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It is extremely unfortunate that you have lost your mother. I think you should consult expert, as your problem would not go away through simple counsel. You should consult psychiatrist nearby or online consultation would be a great alternative. You have impulsive compulsion disorder, which requires subterranean psychoanalysis to find out root cause of your problem.