I’m 45 she’s 39. Last two years, my wife has gained over sixty pounds. I find myself increasingly unattracted to her. We’ve talked and anytime we do she becomes hysterically defensive, saying I should support her in her weight loss (which is what I’m trying to do, the point is she’s not even TRYING to lose weight which is a big issue for me).

The other issue is, she’s constantly horny. My wife always had a high sex drive which was wonderful but with the weight gain I’ve been largely put off. She thinks my desire has waived off but it hasn’t. I’m just not attracted to her like I was AND admittedly her casual attitude about her weight gain and just “you have to accept me like I am” approach has really put me off.

She’ll wear tank tops and leggings and see thru tops and think it’s a way to turn me on but all it does it show me how large she is. It’s an instant turn off.

She won’t talk about it. And I find it hard to get up for her unless I look at porn or think of someone else – terrible I know. What can be done here? I’ll admit her breasts are still amazing so during sex I focus completely on those. Is that the trick? Just tits and close my eyes the rest of the time? Anyone else in this place? I need help—even if she went on weight loss tomorrow 60 pounds will take years to lose and she wants sex almost daily

EDIT-thanks for all the feedback. I’ve noticed a few are saying “looks fade” etc etc. I think you’re missing the point. I mentioned in the post I’m not attracted to her any longer and part of what contributes to that is her unwillingness to do anything about it. She has told me to my face “You just have to accept me as I am” while eating a box of donuts. That unwillingness to change and just make yourself worse is extremely unattractive and part of the decline in our sexual relationship.