I am Married but have strained relations with my wife. Is it wrong to visit Escorts?
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I am a 33 year old man and have been married for 5 years. We have a 2 year, old adorable kid. I am working abroad and ours was an arranged marriage. Immediately after marriage she accompanied me aborad.
We used to fight a lot which I thought is common in every marital life but my wife is also not in a good relationship with her in-laws. She is adamant and keeps on arguing even for silly reasons. She used to defend herself even if she commits mistakes. Because of this, we are emotionally detached.
Actually, I don’t hate my wife. There are many good things in her which I really admire also. I love my child to the core. Sometimes I feel that my child is the only reason why we are still living together. Even though we have many issues and arguments and quarrels, I don’t want to divorce her for that reason.
First 2-3 years we had a great sex life. Even though my wife is not so good in bed, but I was ok with that. After having a child and also because of our routine fighting we rarely used to have sex; like once in 3 months or so. I couldn’t control my sexual desires and started approaching escorts.
Since I work abroad, every time I enjoy sex with multiple women from different nationalities.
I am very much aware of STD and other consequences. I am careful and taking utmost care while having sex with them. I am not able to stop myself from doing this. For me approaching escorts is only to suppress my sexual desires. I am not even interested in any formal extramarital affair. I don’t feel like getting emotionally attached to some other girl. I am just doing this bcoz my wife does not do it.
A thief becomes actual thief only if he is caught. At the moment I am not a thief. I know there is no point to ask what I am doing is right or wrong.
Still would like to check, am I doing any sin?
Answers ( 2 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
sir,
after reading your question i understood somethings.these are familiar to the person whom i know.he was also your age.his wife is uneducated and don’t know the difference silly and serious.she also argues a lot.but he did not have any sex with outside woman.i also know that he loves his children to the core,just like you.
all marriages will not decided in heaven.that is why some married person’s life is hell.you have tried a lot to save your marriage.you are also standing still for your child,what matter of pain you might have taken.i really appreciate and respect you for this.
but it is impossible to control all your desires every time.i even cannot advice you like” please talk with your wife and don’t have any any outside sex”.as per question i think you might have asked her a lot(sex), but she might have rejected that.so there is nothing wrong in what you are doing.as you are doing it at abroad the chances of getting caught is very less.
there is some care to be taken in the matters of protection.as you already said about it, make sure that the woman is not from your wife’s friends and make sure that you have sex with woman after feeling that she was safe.there is a chance of being blackmailed by people.so, take care of yourself and your child.
this is only opinion.hope this helps.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
I agree with you but you have to take care of good mind also some times a lonely life abroad and frequent visits with escorts can make you loose lot of money from pockets ,also if you think of something different like live with a living partner this can also bring big change .
Find out a partner who is ready to be in living relation this is a better solution at abroad .I think sex security around is important than the sex itself.
I had a similar problem before marriage since my frequency of having sex was 4 times a week initially i practiced your ways then I realized it is not that much worth and till my marriage lived with 5 partners in living relation not all of them together but one at a time when they were willing they were also doing business like me in Abroad .
So try it you find some one who will live in living relation.
Look freedom lies in mind not in body the same thing of freedom is applicable to male and female .Female has to be understood if your wife is not knowing importance of sex she can be trained or counseling can be initiated at a sexologist Doctor. If she is not knowing importance of sex its going to ruins every relation in marriage .
I know Some women will be like that but what is life without sex is it spiritual or higher self ,she dont have commonsense that her husband has to be satisfied and she is living her life for him ,if this things are not understood by a women I think something wrong with basics life .Even Religious institutions before marriage train husband and wife the importance of sex.
Look if she can be changed change her ,If she cannot be changed at any cost you have to live in living relation with a women who is willing for this rather than sleeping with lot of women .Since I believe after my experiences in life Sex security at will or say home is more important than the sex itself.
The last option is if a women is not satisfying her husbands need in sex ,as per law you can give her a divorce I think you will not do it as you have a kid .Such is sex important to law ,,,,,,,,,,its legal in all countries law books and law attorneys.