I see porn and masturbate after marriage; am I cheating my wife?
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I’m 27yrs old male; married for 2yrs, I have a nice and loving wife. We enjoy sex every alternate day, but I have a habit which has been with me even before my marriage; I see porn movies and masturbate and I’m not able to leave it even after marriage.
Does this mean that I don’t love her? And I often feel that I’m cheating on her because I don’t know why but I feel guilty about it.
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No, watching porn and masturbating is not cheating in itself. That act is something you do to yourself to relieve sexual tension. However, if your wife is against porn and feels what you do is cheating, you have a problem. We can say “no” all we want and validate what you want to hear but you have to live with your wife’s perceptions. She has decided her opinion because of 123 reasons and unless you can sway them, you are in deep shit. I would recommend trying to add some spark in your relationship because let me tell you she just may surprise you if you do. Did it ever occur to you she maybe bored and that you never gave her an opportunity to explore that adventurous sexuality side of herself. I am just making a guess based in the longevity of your marriage. You need to have that conversation or just buy her some sexy lingerie, maybe a new toy she has never had to try (ask her first of she id willing unless you know she likes surprises) and make a hell of a night of it. Start bucking up and juicing things up. Gawd you guys give up too easy. Take the 14 day sex challenge ( similar to the yoghurt one) and get to it! I bet you both will be happier.
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Usually seeing this from your wife’s view point it can be tantamount to cheating because, admit it, you’re not seeing porn with your wife’s knowledge, and you’re sneaking behind her back to masturbate, so this fact doesn’t sit well with any women. I suggest you talk to your wife about this issue, before she catches you red-handedly, because that would just get messy. And take shape into a cold war between you two.
She might take it that you don’t enjoy sex with her and hence resort to masturbation by watching some random hot porn star and have sex with her only as an obligation. However when you discuss your addiction with your wife, she might be able to do some thing about it. Maybe she can help you stay out of masturbation by giving you even more pleasure, or she might not give you opportunities to stay idle and masturbate etc…….
The point is, once you confide in her about your addiction, things would get better. There are countless men who masturbate after getting married and most of them for some reason hide this from their wives just like you’re doing. Masturbation does feel amazing, so don’t leave it, but do it not by watching porn but watch your wife. Ask your wife to put on a show for you while you masturbate, imagine the levels of your pleasure, both for you and your wife, when you engage in this activity, it would surely be fun.
Masturbation isn’t bad, but watching porn and concealing it is bad. This fact makes a woman intimidating as in, ’I can’t give him an erection and hence he is watching porn’, while in reality this might not be the case. Avoid these circumstances and tell her about your addiction and also tell her you want to change it as you can’t keep doing this. Communication can bring tremendous changes to your sex lives, so talk to her.