I will do my best to keep this to as few words as possible. I have a small group of people I consider my best friends that I have known all my life. I’ll use fake names for them Beth, Stac and Gwen. Of the three only Gwen is married and or in a relationship. I’m a big girl 5’3 260 pounds. I’ve always had issues with my weight and had self esteem issues. I was always told you have such a beautiful face and if you were smaller I would date you. I’ve been in a few relationships where it was obvious that my boyfriends at the time were ashamed to be seen with me. They would never hold my hand in public and never posted pictures of us together on Instagram and Facebook. My luck on dating apps consisted of getting ghosted or just wanting sex and I am embarrassed to say that I allowed myself to be used by some guys. Eventually I stopped responding to most messages.

Three years ago I met my fiancé, Kyle, at one of my nephews’ soccer games. Kyle, was the coach and approached me afterwards. He asked me if I was ever going to reply to his message. I was confused and he said he messaged me a week prior and answered a question I had on my POF profile. That’s when I remembered his message and I got embarrassed. I told him that I had been busy and he asked me if I had any plans for later that night. My sister and nephew both liked him and had told me as much. I agreed and exchanged numbers with him even though I felt like he was out of my league. Kyle is average sized and in shape.

To this day I don’t know why he didn’t walk out on me on that date. I got it into my head that he was only after sex and might have some big girl fetish. We met up for an early dinner at a casual Mexican restaurant and within five minutes I asked him “are you just looking for a hookup because you have a thing for fat girls?” He shook his head and told me he was interested because of things I listed on my profile like how I liked soccer, my favorite wine, TV shows and that my photos I posted showed that I like to travel. He led most of the conversation and tried to get me to open up and ask questions. He would gently touch my hand from time to time and tried flirting.

Somehow, he asked to see me again and the second date went a lot better. I found out he was a widower that lost his wife and two month old son in a car crash a decade before. He had tried dating off and on for a few years but nothing serious came of it. He worked in the field I got my degree in but had no luck getting hired into. Within three months we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. My friends and family were thrilled and his family welcomed me in even his former in laws who he still considered family. All except Beth.

Beth, when I told her, kept asking me if I was sure about him. She asked if he wasn’t just using for sex, which had yet to happen. Then it was well he probably doesn’t want to have sex with you. When I mentioned that he holds my hand in public and would pull me just a bit closer to him when we would go out for drinks when guys would walk towards us, suddenly it was he was controlling. Eventually, Kyle met my three best friends and they all liked him immediately and Beth said he was a keeper. He helped me get hired at another company in my field starting at 70k plus benefits after I politely declined an opportunity to work alongside him. I say all this because since Kyle has come into my life he has shown me nothing but love, affection, grace and kindness. He has also helped me start to get past my insecurities. I was over 300 pounds when I met him and now I’m at 260. My initial fears of being some fetish of his are gone and he has been there in every way I could ever want.

A few days ago we hosted a dinner with Beth, Stac, Gwen and her husband. Kyle and Gwen’s husband Mike had become friends and they did all the cooking and clean up. Everything was going good and we were all relaxing on the back porch drinking some cocktails when Beth asked me in front of everyone. “Why do you tolerate that picture of Kyle with his dead wife and son?” I was absolutely mortified. Kyle looked upset but was keeping his composure. I explained that it was the only picture he had of the three of them together and that I would never ask him to hide it because that was his wife and son. That he loved them and that I know Kyle loves me and that she was being rude and needed to call an uber to leave. She obviously had too much to drink and didn’t seem like she wanted to leave. Then she absolutely embarrassed me when she brought up a humiliation I had endured with an ex during the lowest point in my life that I hadn’t told Kyle about. “I bet keeping the picture up was his idea and you went along with like when Jeff would make you wear a pig mask and oink while he fucked you!” Kyle absolutely exploded on her and yelled that she “get the fuck out of our house.” Mike and Gwen had to drag a now crying Beth out with Stac following them.

When they left I just started bawling and looked at Kyle and started to repeat that I was sorry and if he didn’t want me anymore that I understood. All my insecurities that I worked so hard to overcome came flooding back. He just hugged me and kissed the top of my head and told me what I did before doesn’t bother him. It was Beth humiliating me that pissed him off. He told me that it’s up to me if I remain friends with her but he doesn’t want to be around Beth anymore. He cleaned up the patio and held me as I fell asleep crying.

Today I texted Beth that we needed to talk. We met up for brunch and she was very embarrassed about her behavior but I told her I don’t think I can be her friend. She then started to blame Kyle for our friendship ending and that he was “fucked in the head for making you look at his dead wife and kid. Don’t throw away our friendship over him.” I got up and paid for my food and left. Gwen and Stace don’t want to be in the middle but agree that Beth was in the wrong and that they are happy that I found the love of my life and hope one day things will return to normal. I told them that I won’t be upset if they hangout with Beth but I don’t want to be included if she is with them. They were fine with that.

Beth was my first friend and someone I always looked up to. She held me as I cried when my first “boyfriend” left me a week after I lost my virginity to him because he was dared to date me and sleep with me. Now I’m wavering about wanting to give her another chance. We have so much history and amazing memories. Kyle said he would support me either way but he was a hard no on being around Beth outside our wedding if I wanted her there.

I’m so torn on what to do because she was drunk but still she said those words and they cut me to the core. Should I forgive her or cut her out of my life?

TL:DR- I’m a big girl in a relationship with a fit guy. One of my best friends brought up my fiancés dead wife and son in a rude way and brought up a sexual act I performed with an ex when I was 20 in front of other friends and fiancé after a dinner. She was drunk and I don’t know if I should forgive her.

Minor update- I just got a text from Gwen who told me that she and Mike have cut Beth out of their lives. Mike was furious at Beth and got pissed at Gwen for wanting to keep a friend like that. Gwen apologized for even considering keeping Beth as a friend.