This is a rant from a person looking for some solace. I have a gentleman of a husband. He is soft spoken and calm which kind of complements my personality. His father on the other hand is a pathetic excuse for someone to be called a human being. He has a problem with everyone around him – his 5 siblings , basically everyone he meets even the parcel delivery person. He wants everyone to follow what he says. He basically decides the food menu in his home and his wife cooks that. My husband also has a brother , who along with his wife live with FIL(Father in law) and MIL(Mother in law). My BIL is a total mommy’s boy which is a story for another day, for his wife to put up with.

My husband and I live abroad, with our baby. We have been married for 4 years. Right from the start my FIL has tried to dictate when I should go home to meet parents and when I should get back during our India trips. I donot like being told what to do and it bothers me which I have communicated to my husband. Also Right from the start my FIL doesn’t respect my family and he believes they have to do what he tells – as in if we travel, my family has to travel from our town which is 8 hours away from his city (which has the airport hub) to send us off. This he wanted even during COVID times , where my parents were supposed to take a train in Sep 2020, for send off ,which ofcourse I told them not to. He held a grudge for that and treated my parents badly the next time they visited them for another function. This he does in front of his wife and she doesn’t say a word. She is not a timid lady, she does shout at my FIL when we are around , but does nothing during his nastiness with others. He is basically an insecure and jealous freak who thinks it’s okay to demean others because he doesn’t have to face any consequences. Also he does this cheapness very strategically, does it when either of his sons are not around. There have been multiple instances where he has done this to my family. This time when my dad came to send us off (just me and baby as husband got back earlier ) he shouted at my dad saying why did he come this time when he didn’t travel last few times. I did give it back to him this time. His wife just sat beside him doing nothing, no hospitality for her guests. According to her if she does something like welcome the guests (in this case my dad), her husband would show even more nastiness, because she being good to them will provoke him (FIL). She is not a timid person , she is just playing her cards well is what I can see. He has not spared my BIL’s wife’s family as well. My husband (being the soft natured person that he is ) has also conveyed his displeasure to his dad for such behaviours. There has been no change in his(FIL) behaviour despite of all of this.

Now I have had lots of arguments with my husband regarding his dad’s shittiness to my family and his mom’s acting, yet he holds his ground that his mom is one down to earth human being and his dad is a good person. He agrees that his dad didn’t behave well but that’s just it. I have completely lost it, thinking where have I got my family caught. My family tells me to ignore them because I live far away and they don’t want me to upset my husband. They behave so well with such non deserving shitheads( FIL).

Now my in-laws will be travelling and spending 6 months with us (our baby primarily). I am totally anxious because I don’t like them and now have to be with them and I for sure know I won’t keep my mouth shut for any dictatorship.