Is it true that a woman can have sex even if she is not excited?
ReportQuestion
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
I love a married woman and she too loves me lot. She can’t divorce her husband because of her children. I can’t tolerate that she has sex with her husband. She says she avoids him but when her husband forces and fights with her for not having sex, then she has to have sex.
She says she only loves me and also enjoys sex with me and not with her husband. She says she is like a dead body when she is having sex with him and that she just fakes enjoyment with her husband. She feels guilty.
Is she telling me the truth? Can I believe her? I just want to know whether a woman feels nothing in sex when she is not interested or is forced into sex?
Please answer honestly.
Answers ( 2 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
To answer your question: Yes, it’s very possible for a woman to have sex without being excited. She may find it uncomfortable if she is not sexually aroused, because she is unlikely to be well lubricated inside. In such a situation, she is merely a passive receptacle for the man’s erect penis. In the worst case scenario, a woman who is not consenting to sex, yet is having sex, is actually being raped. I’m not saying that this lady’s husband is actually raping her, but she may be allowing him to have sex, just for a quiet life. Perhaps she is tired of arguing with him about his sexual demands, and just lays back and lets him get on with it, rather than putting up any kind of resistance. Under such circumstances, she may get no sexual arousal, and no satisfaction from what he’s doing.As I understand it, the Indian penal code does not accept that a husband can rape his wife. He can be charged with the lesser crime of sexual assault, but he cannot be charged with rape for forcing his wife to have sex, no matter how violent it may be. To anyone else reading this: If that situation has been amended in the Indian penal code, please inform all of us.
Is this married woman telling you the truth? I have no way of knowing how genuine your relationship with this lady is, so I can’t presume to tell you whether she’s being honest with you are not, but it could be that she is enjoying having sex with both you and her husband. Some people, both men and women, just enjoy sex so much that a single partner is insufficient for their sexual needs. How many times have we seen questions on this forum from men or women trying to justify having an affair? Or seeking advice about threesomes, foursomes, or more sums, for their sexual gratification? I don’t know actual figure, but there must be thousands of entries, all of a similar theme.
This lady may be unhappy in her marriage, and you have come along at a time when she is seeking something to fulfil her life. Perhaps she was never happy to be married to this guy in the 1st place. It’s one of my major arguments afainst arranged marriages. How many couples out there have been put together by either avaricious, social climbing, status obsessed, or even well-meaning parents, who never took into consideration that either the man or the woman may not have wanted to get married? Under such circumstances, many couples learn to get on with it, and make the best of their, less than ideal, situation, but some couples never do settle down, with either one or the other, or sometimes both, being very unhappy, and seeking solace in the arms of somebody else. Again, when it comes to questions on this website, how many times have we read of a girl who is forced to give up her boyfriend, because her parents have planned to marry her to somebody else, or a boy who has to give up his girlfriend in the same circumstances? These things happen so frequently, and is it any surprise when some of these marriages go off the rails?
You know your lady friend better than we do, so if she tells you that sex with her husband is something she just has to put up with, accept that this is the situation she has to live with. If I were in her situation, I would want a divorce. I can’t imagine that their marital home is very happy, and I don’t think that the children really benefit much in an unhappy environment. Surely it is better to be with one parent who is happy, than two parents who are miserable.
If she was free, would you marry her? Would you be prepared to take on her children as a stepfather? Or are you just staying with her because you enjoy having sex with her? These are questions that you must ask yourself honestly. You tell us in your post that you love the lady, and if this is true, surely you can offer her an alternative to her present unhappy situation. On the other hand, if the love you talk about is in reality, the love of having sex with her, then really, you are just a player, and you would be better off finding a young lady who is unattached.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Yes, there are pretty fair chances that she does not feels anything with her husband if she is being forced to have sex because for most women sex is not just a physical activity unlike us men. However, it is very unfair on your part for being unhappy if she has sex with her husband as her husband has a legitimate right to have sex with her.
You need to understand that her family is her first priority , hence do not get emotionally involved with her, as this relationship has no future in long run. When and if her husband catches both of you red handed she will have no explanation to present to him and she would definitely try to shift all blame on you for the sake of her marriage.
Therefore, my simple advice would be just enjoy sex with her as long as it lasts and do not pressurize her to leave her family as it would not be possible for her. Keep yourself in her place and think, can she be able to leave her family? If you are man of principle then leave her, find a suitable partner, and settle down with this new found g/f of yours