I’ve had a very colourful life, with multiple partners since I was 15, but now I have difficulty holding my erection for long.
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I am a 38-year-old man. I’ve had a very colourful life, with multiple partners since I was 15, but now I have difficulty holding my erection for long. When my partner and I indulge in oral sex I have an erection but the moment I try penetration I lose the stiffness. I smoke on a daily basis and drink occasionally, though I workout every day. What could be the reason, please help?
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Your age is very much compatible with a healthy sex life. Temporary reduction in libido and performance can happen due to several factors. Stress, alcohol and performance anxiety are common causes. If you are on anabolic steroids for body-building they can affect sexual performance adversely. If your lack of control is confined to vaginal penetration only, you need to ask yourself why. If your penis is able to hold out without any trouble during oral stimulation, doesn’t this mean that you are indeed ‘capable’ of control. The situational nature of this problem can be because of a past incident of involuntary ejaculation, which has got stuck in your head and doubt has started creeping in. Before the next sexual encounter, you are already thinking about what if it happens again. It’s the worst kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. When you are enjoying oral sex, you are calm, but when you are trying to ‘perform’ for your partner, you get too rattled to stay with your pleasurable feelings.