I (29) have never had sex with my wife (27f). We’ve been together for 7 years and have been married 3 years. She has vaginismus and has been working hard at trying to overcome it by dialating at least once a week. I try to support her and be patient but I’m so sexually frustrated and it’s affecting my mental health. I often turn to porn to escape this frustration and it only makes things worse by desensitising me to any sexual activity her. I don’t tell her this because I don’t want her to feel bad and it will only make me look selfish. It’s often a sensitive topic in conversation. I can’t tell anyone close to me because I’ll feel shame and embarrassment and if my wife ever finds out anyone knows, then it’s even more embarrassing and shameful. This is why I’m using a throwaway account.