Judged for posting photo with male friend while being in relationship
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My boyfriend got mad because I set a picture of me and a guy friend as my WhatsApp profile picture. In the photo, you can only see his hair because it’s cropped. We took the picture way before my boyfriend and I started dating. Recently, I found it on my laptop and liked how I looked in it, so I used it as my profile picture. But my boyfriend started doubting me, thinking the guy might be my ex or someone I had a thing with. I told him the guy was just a friend and we don’t even talk anymore. Did I do something wrong by using that picture?
It’s annoying how people always assume there’s something romantic between a guy and a girl. My boyfriend’s questions made me feel bad because he implied I did something inappropriate by wearing a certain top in the picture. I would have told him about my past relationships if he asked, because I’ve already been open about that. But when I tell him the guy was just a friend from before him, he doesn’t believe me.
I’ve never been big on dating or trying to impress guys. Before my boyfriend, I only had one other relationship. He knows this, but still accused me of being with lots of guys. He thinks new guys are always coming into my life, even though he’s the only person I’ve talked to for the past two years. He doesn’t understand how much I love him. We’re almost at our third anniversary, and I’ve always been loyal and honest. But now I feel like he doesn’t respect or trust me. It’s frustrating, and I’m starting to feel like giving up on relationships altogether.
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iam sure you will be mad when your bf likes some chick photos on instagram, idk if he was judging you here but he might have been disappointed that you put someone elses picture as your whatsapp dp instead of him, you tell me how would you feel if your bf puts a photo of himself with some other girl as whatsapp dp, where the picture can be seen by his is family and friends and wont you feel bit bad that he didnt put your picture? are you called insecure now? he is at wrong for conveying the message in angry tone but you are also wrong for not being empathetic towards him. If you guys are trying to make each other jealous then whats the point of being in a relationship? you guys should be able to make each other feel secure and build trust around the relationship, seems like you guys didnt do it.
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Hey there,
Good morning!
I saw your post and it made me smile all the way through.
If only the hair of your friend is visible in the picture, how can your boyfriend be sure if it’s a guy or a girl? It seems like he’s feeling jealous, insecure, and overly protective for no reason.
If you’ve been honest about your past and started this 3-year relationship on a truthful note, his doubts and inappropriate comments might stem from his fear of losing you and thinking he won’t find someone like you again. This shows insecurity and immaturity.
Commenting on your clothing choice while taking a picture with your friend reveals his mindset. It’s one thing if you’re showing cleavage in front of another guy, but wanting a nice picture with his own girlfriend is understandable. This guy could use some help.
Your communication with each other seems pretty average. If he had approached the topic calmly, you could have had a constructive conversation instead of things turning ugly.
Take some time this weekend to reflect on your self-worth with your best friend, the woman in the mirror. Decide if you want to confront him and remind him that a relationship is a two-way street. He can’t disrespect you.
If you decide to continue this relationship after 3 years, have a heart-to-heart talk with him and set clear expectations.
Don’t let one bad experience make you give up on other men. It’s frustrating when guys like yours ruin it for the good ones.
Sending you good vibes, trust, sunshine, warmth, lots of ice cubes (haha), delicious desserts, and a big warm hug!
Stay blessed!