My husband is a gay. Will marriage with another guy be a problem in future?
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I am Swetha, 26 years old. I am married (arranged marriage, proposal brought by parents) since 3 years and never had sex together. On our honeymoon trip he revealed to me that he is a gay. I have tried seducing him many times but it is not working with him.
When he revealed it to me, I took it as a chance to have fun and now O have had sexual relations with many guys and I loved having sex with these men over years and every relation has broken up after a few months. My husband knows my sexual relation with them and he has never stopped me.
Now my last relationship is with a guy and is still continuing and he wants to marry me. I haven’t told this to my husband. Should I talk to him about this proposal? Do you think I should divorce my gay husband and marry this guy? Will any problem arise in the future if I am still married to my gay husband?
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We commisserate with you in your mental trauma and agony that you have gone through for the last three years. It is shameful of your husband and (others like him) who hide the fact that they are gays from their spouses before marriage and bring such misery to their marriage relationship.
Since he has confirmed he is a gay, there is no point in trying to turn him around. I presume he is not bi-sexual and does not want any sexual relations with a woman. His having multiple male partners and you too having multiple male partners is high risk behaviour and I must warn you that even if one of them has HIV, it will be transmitted on to you.
The best thing that could happen is that there is a man who is willing to marry you in spite of knowing about your history (past sexual encounters) and your husband’s gay leanings. But are you willing to take the plunge? Your husband will grant you divorce, if you are able to prove that he is gay and has not consummated the marriage. But a divorce is opening a can of worms. It is never a silent affair. All your inlaws and your family will be involved. Are you willing to take the plunge?
Divorce from your present husband and marriage to this other man seems to be the best solution. You will get a new lease of life and will be able to get over your past. Your idea of continuing in the marriage and having sex with this new partner is only a short term solution as you may findphysical satisfaction but not the mental one.
Be strong. Talk about this issue with an older respected member of your family who will be in a position to guide you better. He can also meet your current boyfriend and check what his views are.
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Your husband should have revealed his identity before marriage, as he could not make other person to suffer on his account. He has cheated on you and let me tell you that you are doing right by making a relationship with other guy who is ready to marry you. You need to inform your parents and his parents earliest and let also reveal the reason why do you move out of the marriage.
There is no sin of being a gay but your husband has to inform you as it was an arrange marriage you could easily break this marriage. Inform your planning to get married to other person who loves you to your husband as soon as you can. I am sure your husband will have no objection as he is gay and does not mean to the marriage.
Before marrying to another guy discuss your life problem, your expectation from the marriage with him and do not hide anything from him as it is necessary to tell him everything and expect the same thing from his side. If you both have convinced with each other than you may go for marriage and lead a happy married life.
Best of luck