Dear fellow AA users.

Me and my lover have been in love for the past 5 years. We belong to different religions. She was studying in the 11th standard and I was in 2nd year of my college when we fell in love. We started to love each other only through phone. We hardly met as our homes are 400 kms away. We met only 25 to 30 days in these 5 years.

First 3 yrs went well and good. We used to talk for hours and share everything. Even we had intercourse when we met. Later on we were not able to meet or speak as much as her family got some doubt and they started watching her. (she told me that and I believed her). However she managed to message me atleast once a day. At that time, I used have an inner feeling that she’s cheating on me. But I believed her as I believe in my love.

Even in November’14 we had intercourse, and our last meet was In Jan’15. After that she used to speak through phone rarely. She got engaged with a boy who was her relative. Her family made this engagement in Sep’15, but she dis not tell me anything about this engagement. She was talking to me normally as a lover till 25th of November’15. I came to know about her engagement through FB account (that she hidden from me). She was using another phone number and another FB account for past one year. I had some doubts, but I believed her as I loved her.

After I came to know about her engagement, she is telling me that, she didn’t love me for past 2 years, she didnt like me, she had sex with someone before me when she studied in 9th standard. She was wandering with other guys when we were in love and those guys kissed her on the lips and even touched her breasts. I just cannot believe those things. I don’t know whether she is just telling me all this just to avoid me. Whatever it is, whether she had sex with someone, wandered with other guys, my heart still needs her.

It was my dream from my age 15 to have a love marriage and the girl should be a virgin and she shouldn’t be in love with any other guy. Now everything is broken. In the past 5 years, I have built up a big fort for her in my heart. I used to fantasize that I’m living with her. My entire family of 40 members know that I’m in love with a girl from another religion and even I have convinced my parents to accept her.

Now I can’t even imagine that some one else is going to be her husband. And I cannot see some other girl with me in the place of my lover. Even I have named our future babies after discussed with her. Now everything is lost. Only after discussing with her, I have started my business just few months back and planned to marry her in 2017. Now I am not able to do anything other than thinking of her and thinking of my life. I just cannot bear that feeling that she is going to marry someone else.

What should I do?

I asked her to spend one day with her before marriage and she accepted my invitation. As for now, I planned to convince her on that one day. If she accepts I will marry her. If not, what should I do?

Whatever it is, I would feel happy, if I will be in contact with her till my last breath. But I don’t think that is possible. If I will be in contact with her, her husband may came to know about our relationship and there may be some problem for her. I cannot allow that too. I just want her to lead a happy and peaceful life. She is asking me, “if my future husband leaves me, will you accept me”. I said yes.

Don’t know what I have to do. I am not able to understand her mind set.

Hope you guys understand my feelings. Need your advice.

Please help me to get out of this.