My sister is having many affairs. What should I do?
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Dear Anjali mam,
I live with my sister in Delhi for study and job. One day, I came to know that she is having many affairs. She is in a relationship with one of our close relatives. She is also doing bad things with my friends. She does adult chats with my friends.
My friend always made fun of me by using bad words about my sister. One of my close friend said that my sister even had sex with two of my friends. I thought he was lying. Then one day when my sister was sleeping, I checked her phone.
I saw that she chats with my friends and cousins. When I opened those conversations, I came to know that she sends her nude pics to them. And also had sex with my cousin and friends.
Please suggest how to handle this? What should I do?
Answers ( 3 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Ok listen dude, I know what’s been boiling in your mind. Your mind is not coping up with the face that YOUR sister is sleeping with other guys. I capitalized ‘your’ because if she had been your friend’s sister you wouldn’t care. I know it’s hard to accept some things about the people you know and love since childhood. It’s natural you are feeling irritated, angry, let down by her actions.
It’s completely natural to feel enraged when your colleagues bad mouth about your sister. Anyone in their right mind would feel anger and disappointment. But I am proud of you that you’ve not done something out of impulse. Now understand few things. Every person here on this planet have desires which they have developed over time and keep it within them until they get a chance to act upon it. You say you are from small town and you know how suppressing the society is in general more so in small town and especially in state like Haryana. Believe me I also live here albeit in a big town. The more you suppress a feeling the more you want to do it. It’s universal. Now this point is clear let’s move onto the next point.
Since you haven’t described in details about the past upbringing of your sister and her actions in past so I can only speculate. Sex is something which is natural and everyone wants to do it. Some get an early chance to fulfill this desire some wait patiently until they get the right partner. Every human being is different. Some want to do it with many people which they like over the course of their lifetimes while some like being with only one partner. I’ve knows both girls and guys who fall in these two category. My own sisters had multiple partners in past but it never bothered me much because they have always been much smarter than me.
Let me relate more with you. I have two sisters, one elder and one younger. When I found out my elder sister has bf and they are sleeping around, to be honest, I spent many sleepless nights. I hated my sister for that, for some time, stopped talking to her. I was angry not because she has a bf I was angry because MY sister has a bf. Lets be real we don’t care about other girls who we see and imagine them in our pervert dreams and jerk off to them. We don’t feel the same about girls we see in mms clips on porn sites. We cared because OUR sister is doing this thing. How can she?
So I want you to think differently for your own good. Think that your sister is also a human being and she has some desires and there are some things which makes her feel happy. If she feels happy doing sex with those guys then you shouldn’t hate her for that neither should you try to stop her. If you want to be a good brother then make sure that those guys are not forcing your sister into doing this. It may so happen that she had sex with one of them once and he videotaped that and has been blackmailing her since into sending him nudes as well as having sex with him or others. It’s just a speculation from my side as you have not given much details. The gist of what I am trying to say is that you want to be a good brother to her who loves and cares for his sister and wants to protect her.
But you need to keep this in mind that you can’t protect her from things from which she doesn’t need protection from. If you find out that she is doing it all from her own will and no one is forcing her then you must not interfere in her matter. Think it this way, imagine you are having sex with multiple girls and you love doing that as well as those girls but your sister gets to know this and tries to stop you from doing it, how would you feel?
Now getting into the topic of nudes shared via phone. Man this is a serious topic.I know sexy_salma berated you for looking into her phone which seriously you shouldn’t but we can’t gloss over the fact that your sister’s nudes may have been on some other guy’s phone. And if porn sites and numerous sex blogs are to believed many such nudes and videos end up on these mentioned sites and into numerous people’s computers and phones. So it is a serious issue. I am putting up a few choices in front of you. You may choose to act upon them according to the conditions.
First, if you have very close relationship with your sister, I mean the kind where you both share everything with each other without being judged then it is really easy to handle. Go to your sister, talk normally like you guys do and steer the topic in that way. If you don’t want to make her fell embarrassed then you can say that one of your friends used to send nudes or sexy pics to her bf and it ended up on internet and also say that sometime it’s bf and sometimes someone else who get their hand on such personal pics. If your sister takes you seriously she will understand in a jiffy what you have been talking about. This way you can convey your message without actually saying it. She will love you for that.
If you and your sister are distant then it’s quite a task to handle.You can still talk like you have watched a news where a girl sends her nude pics and they were leaked.Just say this like you are telling her this news and start a little discussion saying that girls can do whatever they want but they shouldn’t trust other person and if they want to send nudes they can atleast hide their faces and any other marks of identification. She will surely understand it if you say her in a way that she doesn’t get a hint that you know about her pic sharing thing.
Now to deal with those Guys who have been teasing you. Best way is to ignore them and find other friends. If someone is fucking their friend’s sister then they wouldn’t brag about it to her own brother. One of my friend is banging our other friend’s sister. Though we all know they are bf – gf but we don’t discuss that and this is called decency and being in limits.
If they are such a big douche bag that they tease you about banging your sister then you can sneak up their phone and look for any nude or any other pic of your sister. If you find one make sure to delete the whole memory card or take it out and crush it. Also be on their good side for some time, get access to their computer and look for pictures or videos of your sister.
How can you do it? Simple, they are most probably running windows. Just go to any drive like D,E.,F. Open it and on the upper right corner you can find a search bar. Type *.jpeg , then *.jpg then *.gif then *.png ,, these are the most common picture files. Doing these will display all the images on that drive, look through them and see if you find your sister’s pic . Make sure you have unhidden all the folders by going through folder option.
Once you have made sure that those guys don’t have any pic of your sis or if they had and you have deleted them then you can be sure that your sister is safe for now. Then you can warn them in stern voice if they say anything about your sister. Normally a strict warning will go a long way as not everyone is courageous and most just show their manliness on weak. Don’t listen don’t seem weak. Break all ties with them. Find yourself some new friends.
Last but not the least do not look at your Sister in incestuous way. Your sister’s relation with other guys gives you no power to think that you can too use her to your advantage.
Respect your Sister for what she is, not what you want her to be.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
It is her private life but since she is having affairs with your friends you have all right to talk to her about it and ask her to stop it as it brings embarrassment for you among group of friends. Threaten her that you would let your family knows about it and make her stop at least having affairs with the people you know.
If she does not want to stop this then stop living with her and cut off your friends out of your life as this is the only thing you can do if she does not want to listen you.
I am sure if you are successful in threatening her then she would stop it but you should go for communication and let her know that you know everything. Clear cut discussion is required, I know it is not an easy thing to discuss with sister but you are left with no option than to have discussion so go for it.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Private life of every person is different from one to another. Even if friends discussing their secrets have different preference. In this case your sister is an adult and has freedom to decide how she will take the path of life. In adulthood male/female desired for sex which is common to all. A category of people, those are taking the advantage of their youthful days and explorer the fantasies. They enjoy the time and involved in exotic chat and fun. Male/female in this category focuses of their professional career and has fun side by side.
The other category used to think about what to be done but never act either not getting the chance or suppress their desire for fear of society/family. People of this category are wasting their time and hampering their professional growth because neither their desire fulfilled not abstain from their thinking.
Both the categories are right in their point. But the people judge the event is also different while commenting. Also the comments are different if he/she is involved or commenting towards one another person. If she is not your sister then your comment might be different. The images floated in web shows that girls and boys sharing their intimate moments. It’s not those they intentionally sharing it but the other partner getting some benefits by sharing.
Let’s come to your friend and cousins. She is well aware about them and knows that chances of safety are more than strangers. Adult chat and exchange of nude images are not justifies the sexual affairs. Your friends may be requesting her nude images for their fantasies so your sister sharing it by showing her openness as a new generation girl. We grown in the society and adopt according to it. If she is having sex with those people you mentioned then she should do in protective manner else her fun would spoil her.