My wife avoids sex, how to change her mindset?
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My Name is Bahavaan. I am Married for almost 2 years. My age is 32 and my wife’s age is 28. Not yet planned for baby. My problem is my wife hates if I tough her nipple at any time. She is gets mad at me, I tried to make her understand about my feelings all went in vain. Also she don’t have any feelings when I touch her breasts.
I observed that her nipples do get erect many times when we are make love.
I am a high libido man and she is a low libido women. She has extreme fear about penetration and pain, (Basically very sensitive women), So most of the time she won’t allow me to penetrate, Almost all the time I make her to get orgasm by rubbing her clit or oral Sex or fingering. She like it very much, I understood this by her reaction she is very traditional and won’t discuss about sex with me). She is discharging a lot while doing foreplay and oral stimulation . When she allows me to penetrate she wants both penetration(may be its me!) and Clit stimulation to get orgasm.
Few times she said to me that she is afraid of my penis(my penis is in normal size only, her nervousness may be due to her traditional mindset).
1. 1.Why she hates nipple touching and not showing interest when I touch her breast
2. 2. How to change her mind set on penetration – I suspect her pain is a mindset then real
3. 3. She hates giving oral sex. Never done for me – How to make her do for me.
4. 4.She is not allowing me to do sex in any other position than missionary
Note: to make her understand sex, I tried to talk to her many times but all went in vain – She is saying that sex is not at all important in her life. Tried to show her few scandal movie clips but got scolded, Now she is blaming me that I am behaving/Expecting unusually because, I got inspired from porn movies.
Thanks for your time and expecting good guidance from you all.
Answers ( 2 )
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For a male having sex is a physical desire but for a female it is an emotional need. If she is not showing any interest in physical activity then she could be having some underline emotional issues which only she can revel. You need to self analyze yourself if you are able to satisfy her emotional needs. If you think you are able to then you discuss the issue with her and try to understand her problem.One important thing is that you should behaving like you after all is her real friend . Give her some pace and time to understand you. At last you may seek help from psychiatrist or a psychologist together who will help you in the process.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
There are many things to be considered when you feel that your partner is not taking interest in sexual activities. As per your question your wife is very traditional and not very open to you regarding sex and topics related to it.
You need to make love not to satisfy your lust so best way is to make a longer foreplay, give her multiple orgasm and when she is in her peak ask her how she is feeling , whether she is liking it or not …
1. – She might not like the nipple/ breast touching as many orthodox female feels it is not good to touch the breasts so slowly slowly you need to make her understand that this is also one of the place which gives immense pleasure . You should avoid touching her boobs every now and then, only while foreplay or at the time of sex. Be a kind lover not a wild lover. Females like most when they are fondled and sucked without putting your teeths on it.
2 & 3. .- Some time something which is set in the mind they feel the same. May be she is afraid since her 1st night when it pained a lot. You just need to work on fingering , use one at the beginning and make it 2 to make it a bit loose and if you can find her G-spot make full use of it with your fingers as you rub the G-spot more and more while sucking her clit, it will bring her near the massive orgasm and she feel pleasure . dont force her for intercourse show your love towards her by hugging and kissing and make her realise that you are still hungry, ask her to give you a hand-job or a blowjob if she agrees. Give some time to her to makeup her mind that you also need from her and show her the 2 fingers which goes inside to break-free her mindset is she is scared of the thickness.
Many females feels that Doggy is not a good position as it is performed by animals so it will take time to make her understand that nothign will happen to her is you people do it. Show her some Adult movies then proceed for some softcores, if you think showing scandals she will be aroused then you are wrong many woman feel its disgusting and she might hate you for seeing these.
Being an orthodox female she has learnt till now is that sex is important only to produce babies as she has not enjoyed this act and may be no one has told her about this till now. You need to teach her basics and then proceed to advance stage. Talk to her romantic, then some naughty and then go ahead on sex and dont talk to her about your sexual relationship, start it with others may be about a couple in the movie you people saw last time , may be about some other actor/actresses to open her mindset.
Hope these suggestions work for you and you people start enjoying the most pleasurable act called SEX.