My husband was supposed to finish work for the year tomorrow. He has so far told me he has wednesday off and planned to start a job with me at home. Then got work for wednesday. He was supposed to finish up on Thurs and meet me at the pool with the kids, but that turned into saying he wouldnt be home before dark. Then he calls me at the pool at 4 in the afternoon, from Home! And proceeds to tell me that he has offered to work on Friday…which was his official start to the holidays! And straight after that, is his work party, which his boss invited our whole family to, but my hubby has told me not to go, because I was upset that the first bit of time we could have together all week was going to be with a couple of his mates and a bunch of strangers.
Now he is telling me I was rude to him, and he has been hot and tired. Therefore, I am guessing that should excuse the lack of involvement with the family, and the angry shots that we have gotten from him all week.
We are supposed to be leaving in 4 days to drive 12 hours so we can spend a week with his family, then we are back a few days before he goes back to work. He keeps telling me I can have time with him then (like he is a prize). But our holidays are rotten. He is always cranky, and I have deduced it is because he has to spend time with me. He doesnt get mad at the kids, just me. And when we are home, he keeps busy on the property usually.
Am I wrong for getting frustrated by the constant changing of plans? Yes I know work is really important. But shouldn’t I be too? Am I being selfish by wanting to be with him when he has a break from work, because I look at other husbands and they look happy with their family, sometimes. Every time I get upset at him never being available to do something with me, even on the weekends, he gets really angry. I see it as training…like a dog with treats, but he is trying to teach me not to want him.
I live my own life, and dont think I am living for him. I have fun with the kids and get everything done. Make time for myself, and have friends I enjoy spending time with. But I feel like the only one in the relationship thinks spending time together is a good thing.
Have I acted irrationally by getting annoyed that he has changed yet another plan that affects my expectations? He tells me I am.