Should I marry the Girl I Iove, inspite of Age and Caste differences?
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Dear friends,
I am Sourav from Punjab. My Date of Birth on the certificate is 1999 (so shown in records as 18 years ) but in reality my DOB is 1997 ( so I am 20 years). My Girlfriend’s DOB on her Certificate is 1988 ( so in Records she is 29 years) but her real DOB is 1993( so she is really 24 years old ). All this problem is due to lack of education in the Village and Parents stating incorrect age at thetime of school admission.
Now, my real problem. I want to marry my Gf who I love the most and she also loves me very much. I will take minimum 2 years to make my career. My Gf told me that who knows what will happen in the future? If you change your mind in the future or my old parents force me to marry someone, what will I do?
We cannot decide what to do and need your help.
Q1. Our Real age difference is about 5 years but by our Certificates it is 11 year. Will it affect our relationship? She is healthy and looks 18 just now, but in future will there be a problem?
Q2. There is also the problem of caste. Since she is from another state, no one will be able to find out our real caste and so our parents would not feel ashamed. Will this turn out to be a problem in future?
Q3. If I take about 3 year more to marry her, her real age would be 28 and on certificate it would be 33. She feels that she will not be able to have a baby due to her age and stopping of her periods. She is a virgin and does not masturbate. Is she right? Will the chances of having a kid diminish?
Now you people tell me what we should do? Show me the way please. She is the only one in the world who cares for me. She rejected about 20 marriage offers and one person waited for her for about 4 years but now she has rejected him. I love her with all my heart.
Answers ( 2 )
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If you love the Girl and are confident of your Love for her, marry her, all other considerations are unimportant.
You may have come across many instances of vast age differences between partners in the earlier generation as people did not place too much emphasis on age etc. This is a modern trend that couples consider so many things before getting married.
As long as you both are convinced that the Certificates are incorrect and you are not cheating each other about age then go ahead and marry. But I have one concern, since you are not earning and will not be able to support your Family for another 2 years, then it may not be wise to get married immediately. Can you get engaged in some Religious ceremony so that she also will be convinced that you will not change your mind later.
Caste difference can be a big issue in some regions. Why should your parents feel ashamed? You are both getting married and as long as you both are not ashamed, I see no reason why you should consider others views.
Finally, a woman can conceive as long as she is fertile. Women who are in their 40’s also have borne children. It is better that she have a medical checkup, so that the Doctor can guide her here.
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If you both love each other then there is no problem in the future regarding anything as age is the number so do not worry about the age differences as I have seen many couples with such age gap and happy so do not worry about too much regarding age. However, one thing you both need to do is declare your love to your family and ask them that you both want to get engaged and would ready for the marriage in the next three years once your career is good.
You both have to convince your family as initially both the families would reject your proposal but you both should stay firm on your decision up to the level where both the families think that it would be better to allow you guys to get married. I do not think after three she will not be able to have kids as up to 33 years she can easily have kids so do not worry about that front too. You both should focus on how to disclose your love to your family and how to make them ready for the marriage.