The marriage dilemma (27M,27F) Stuck in a mess
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Hello everyone, using a throwaway account due to various reasons.. So I’m 27M in a relationship since 2 years with 27F and we are planning to marry by end of next year. For now everything seems smooth but this is where the problem arises.
When it comes to marriage and relationships she has very high morales about loyalty, and everything. But i have a major family issue with respect to one of my parent: My mother has an affair and my partner has no idea about it, she has had some hints before but i . to convince her otherwise, So after we marry I think she’ll easily find out about it and make a huge ruckus as i know her behaviour.
Shall i tell her about this now? But i fear that our relationship may get messed up coz of such shitty reason. Or is there any other way to make her understand the situation ( although she’s very stubborn when it comes to adjusting).
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My dad had affairs, I was sexually abused, and my mom died by suicide. I come from a troubled family. He’s from a wealthy, high-status family.
I told him everything before we got married. And you know what? We’ve been happily married for 14 years.
So, if she truly loves you, what your mom does is none of her concern. But if she finds out later from someone else, and it bothers her enough to blame you or end the marriage, will you regret it?
If she really loves you, it won’t matter to her. And if it does bother her, then she’s not the right one for you, no matter how much you love her.
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She can be very stubborn when it comes to making changes. Wait, what? I had to read it a few times to get it. Stubborn about adjusting? Do you mean inflexible?
I think the problem here isn’t that you should tell her now. Instead, she might have sensed something, and instead of being honest, you convinced her otherwise. That’s going to backfire now.
Even now, you’re making it about yourself and not the relationship. You think it’s trivial and you’ll regret it later, and you worry she’s being judgmental, etc. It’s all about you and not considering her feelings. And you want to marry and love this woman? Hmm…