What does my ex girl friend have in her mind?
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I was in a relationship with this girl for seven years. In 2011 she got married to someone else as our family was against this marriage. We then decided to severe all ties and were not talking to each other since then.
However, this year we again started to chat with each other. It started with Birthday greetings on Whatsapp and continues till date. We do not talk over phone and only text on weekdays during office hours.
I did ask her how come she is talking to me now to which she replied that she has informed her husband about the same and she now feels that if we talk it won’t affect her marriage. I was taken aback but then I felt I have nothing to lose as I am still single.
Now the real problem is that she provides me with so many information about her current life that I tend to believe that she is still madly in love with me. On the other hand when i search stuffs I feel she is just playing around with me and using me to maintain her network.
Some of the things she said are:
1. She said she is not having sex with her husband, She only had sex like five times in two years with him and she avoids by working late in kitchen or with other excuses. On the other hand she delivered a baby in 2012 itself and it really confuses on how can a girl move on so quick that she was willing to deliver for him.
2. She said she doesn’t tell her husband about how much we talk and what we talk but on the other hand she says her husband knows that we talk daily. I fail to understand how can a husband allow his wife to talk to her ex.
3. She says she takes out time whenever possible and prioritizes talking to me over any activity if she is free, but on the other hand i find her online on other chat applications when she is not using whatsapp.
4. On our mutual decision we decided to meet one day. That day her son was not well and also she was staying at her mother’s place, but still she came to meet me and spent three hours with me.
5. I am not okay with her and her husband pics and status updates appreciating her husband, and have requested her not to put any such thing on whatsapp and till date she does that for me. But if i tend to block her on whatsapp she doesn’t take the initiative to try talking to me.
I am totally confused with the events that are happening and sometimes get very angry on such behaviour. I want to move on, but also want that talking to her should not affect me in this manner. if she can manage then why do i falter from my course of action.
Please me guys would really appreciate your useful comments.
Answer ( 1 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
A couple of months back you asked a question seeking advise to whether or not text her to which most answers said no, don’t try to establish a contact with her, but I can see that you’ve chosen to not take our advice, so here I’m pondering if you would listen to our advises at least now; whatever it is, here it goes.
I remember you saying you were a CA, so analyze the risk factor for you, if you proceed to continue your relationship with her. As a good dutiful wife she has pretty much done her duty, i.e. delivered a baby for her husband’s family hold, came clean with her husband about her past, got relieved of all her marital obligations, so the one thing that she has time for now is you.
As much as the offer of getting back with your ex sounds titling and thrilling, foresee the trouble you would be landing yourself in. What kind of women were you dating back then who doesn’t value her marriage? I would call this cheating, whatever she is doing right now with you. You yourself find this behaviour of her odd and not clear, so what is stopping you from breaking your ties with her?
Are you expecting some hanky-panky stuff with her, cos I clearly don’t see any reason with you still not moving on with your life? I don’t mean to sound that people should‘t talk to their exes, but when a woman says she isn’t enjoying sex with her husband and keeps rejecting him repeatedly, can’t you smell that she is trying to get back to you; and what were you thinking when she said she keeps her husband in dark about the matters she chats with you. She is playing with both you and her husband.
As her lawful husband, I guess he cannot move out while you sure can, get out of this situation; change your numbers, email and try to move away from her if you’re ready to move-on with your life.