What does my sister want in her life before marriage?
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Hi Anjali,
Q1. I am 25 and my sister is 23 years old. We are not so close enough to share about our personal matters because our parents always advice us to keep distance. I also do not want people to think negative about us, so I also try to keep distance with her. I always thought that my sister is very innocent, she never do anything wrong.
But one day, I checked her mobile and I came to know that she had a boyfriend and she had phone sex with him every night and now she is planning to have real sex with him. She told him that she wants to enjoy outside. She wants to drink alcohol, dance on road at midnight, tear her clothes herself and allow every single dick to fuck her madly. She also told him that she is not virgin. I am shocked.
I can’t understand what to do. But I decide to talk her. I told her not to do sex this is wrong, and to stop talking with him. She can’t reply anything and she refuse to talk any more. If I ask any thing she will complain to my mom. My heart can’t allow me to ask for her virginity, because I had never talked to her before anything on these topics. I am not sure but from that day she stops talking with her boyfriend. This incident does not affect our daily behavior. But I want to know the reality about her virginity. How can I?
Q2. One day I had a gift for her. I directly entered her room. She was totally nude. (She just had a bath). I came out within a second. In evening I texted her and said sorry and advised her to keep the doors locked while changing clothes. She did not reply. This incident also does not affect our daily behavior.
Why does she refuse to say anything? Why she does not feel shy that I know everything about her affair? How our daily behavior is normal?
I don’t want her to do these things. I don’t want any guy to imagine her in his bed. Please advise what I should do?
Answers ( 2 )
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
“Please advise what I should do?”
That is your question to us, and I would say simply this you should do nothing!!!
You have no right to be spying on your sister. What makes you think your behaviour is correct when you are spying on her mobile phone, reading her Private messages? This is underhand and deceitful stop whether you like it or not, your sister is old enough to know what she wants, and is perfectly entitled to a private life, free from being snooped on by her brother or sister, or any of her family members. She is not a little child, she is a grown woman, and she doesn’t need someone else making moral judgements about her, or trying to tell her what she should and shouldn’t be doing stop her life is her own, and what she wants to do with it is none of your business. You would not thank her for interfering in your life, so what makes you think you’ve got a right to interfere in hers?
I would also like to ask you why you think you have a right to just walk into her bedroom without even knocking. Then you presume to lecture her about being naked in the privacy of her own room. Again, if she did that to you, how would you feel?
My suggestion to you is that you get a life of your own, and stop interfering in somebody else’s. If she was to have sex before she gets married, that is her own choice, is not for you to decide for her.
You ask why it is that she behaves normally in everyday life? She doesn’t refer to the texts you have sent her, or react in any way after knowing that you have tried to stop her from talking to her boyfriend. I’m surprised that she has managed to maintain her dignity in the face of your determination to interfere in her life. If you did that to me, I can promise you, you would receive a mouthful that you wouldn’t forget!!!
You can’t stop her seeing her boyfriend or talking to him, and if she hasn’t spoken to him, it’s because of her own choice not your demands. Whether you like it or not, if she’s an attractive girl, guys will be looking at her and imagining having sex with her, and some of them will be imagining having a relationship with her, there may even be one or two guys that would fall in love with her. That is part of the natural order of things, and you cannot go against the natural order of life, the matter what you might want. Try showing your sister the respect she deserves, and stop interfering.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Why do you want to know about her virginity status? What will you do when you come to know that she is not virgin? You had no right to sneak into her mobile without her knowledge but you did so that shows much you are insensitive towards her and that creates doubt on your integrity towards her, no brother does what you did by checking her mobile.
Definitely she is your sister but at the same time she is the girl with independent right and she is mature enough to know what is right and wrong for her so you should not dabble in her personal matter in the first place.
Why are you so curious to know about her everything? My advice to you is just stay away from her and do not try to make her talk to you on her matter as no girl is comfortable enough to share such info with her brother so stop making her embarrassed.
She 23 years old and she must knows what she is doing. She is not sharing with you anything for simple reason that you both are not sharing that comfort level as you both grow up while keeping distance with each other.
Being a brother you should be there for her when she needs you and stop interfering in her personal life.
What she wants to do with her boyfriend when she is out with him is her right to enjoy the life the way she wants.
Why you entered in her room without knocking the door? You should understand that she is adult girl and one should not enter in girl’s room without letting her know, which is common sense.
Again, you were wrong in giving her advice to keep the door lock while changing the cloths as it might be very embarrassing moment for her to face and that is why she did not reply you.
She is playing smart and showing her maturity by not discussing such thing with you.
Overall, stop running after your sister’s moves and allow her to handle her life the way she wants. You have been over analyzing situation regarding your sister, which you should have to stop to maintain the relationship between brother and sister.