Should I break up? Me(24M) and girlfriend (23F) have differences
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Me(24M) and my girlfriend(23F) is in relationship from last 1.5 years. Coming to our financial backgrounds, you might assume me as hefty package guy from poor household (lived in Juggi Jhopadi Colony) and for her, you can assume wealthy household (both parents in govt job) but she’s working as a physiotherapist, makes meagre amount of money, roughly 20K per month while I make close to 3L per month. Till December, I never told her about my salary and finances but lately she saw the salary credited message on my phone. Post that she started acting weird, constantly giving me hints that she prefers lavish lifestyle, will go to Europe tour in honeymoon and other stuff. Even before knowing my salary she knew my financial condition was very poor, barely had cooler to beat the summers.
I have told all those things that I am not really rich but she constantly mentioned that she would definitely need a AC or a good looking house and will be very uncomfortable to shift in my current house. I understand her take on this as she grew in a better locality with all her wishes come true but she should understand my scenario as well. Apart from the financial aspects, she is also planning to go to other states for higher studies and expects me to do wfh only or stay at my current location till the time she is here(currently, I’m doing wfh). Recently, I rejected a pretty good offer of around 50 LPA just because I don’t want to shift to Bangalore and make my relationship in jeopardized state(she doesn’t know about it). Meanwhile I am sure if she would have got such an opportunity she would have left for that immediately. I also want to work see myself best in my career and work in most prestigious locations like Google or Meta London, explore different countries and make lot of money. As of now, I am just waiting for her internship to get complete and her masters to begin with which mostly will be going to happen in any other state. Post that I am planning to move abroad with some good job offer.
Kindly provide your advice what should I do? Should I break up then how should I initiate these set of discussions or should I just wait for events to happen? I don’t want to ruin her internship or her master’s entrance tests. Also, I don’t want to be that sort of ex whom she constantly hate, I feel kinda stuck.
Answers ( 3 )
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Coming from different financial backgrounds, there would be differences in how you guys view money & it’s value.
You guys are together for quite a while, so you probably should have an idea of her views on money. Assuming she wasn’t a heavy spender & didn’t make absurd demands in that period, it was prolly because she was conscious/considerate about it.
Now that she’s discovered your income, she’s assuming that you can provide for her on that level. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing unless she’s straight up demanding something & being a crybaby about it.
If you are planning on ending up together then you should have an open discussion about the Finances & how you plan on handling it.
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I will say that if she is hinting that she deserve some more in terms of lavish style, and she started this only after seeing your money, then it’s fines. She deserves that. I am assuming a girl likes someone and she doesn’t demand pricey item from him. One day she knows that he makes decent income, then it’s okay, she can demand something from him, why the fuck is he making a lot of money, for him and his family. Off course on choosing career , one should defined choose a better career, it will be worth it. It’s for you, join a better company anyday. Here, I am assuming you spent less because of your upbringing, spend money man, it will help you a lot in future. And specially spend money on your loved one, they will be very happy. Of course don’t spend much, but a little bit extra is nothing, try seeing your friend who earns similar to you.
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First of all, I don’t think you guys are honest to each other. It seems like both of you are being judgmental towards each other, which is an instant downhill in any relationship.
Now, from whatever you’ve told, she started behaving differently once she got to know how much you make, which clearly is weird and honestly a red flag. Your views on money and priorities are different. Have a calm and honest discussion about it, and you’ll know the answer for yourself.
More than anything else, “Recently, I rejected a pretty good offer of around 50 LPA”, you should’ve taken that offer!!!