What are these mid-twenties feelings and confusions in my life?
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Hi All,
I am a guy aged 25 and a half. The reason I am posting this here is that I am really not able to understand why I am having such feelings. I feel like something is missing in my life. When I am at the office or at home or with family or friends, there is something I feel is missing. May be I am missing the love of my life or is it something else?
I go to office, work and come to my place (I am a software engineer and I am presently living in, sharing with 2 more friends away from my hometown. I vist my hometown biweekly). This kind of feels so boring. I feel that someone should wait for me when I come home, the home should be properly managed like proper bedroom, dining room etc.
I want to have a girl in my life whom I want to take in my arms. I want to wake up in the morning with her in my arms. I want to take care of someone. I want to drop her off to office,. I want to cook with her for us. I want to help her and i want to make her happy.
I want to feel like a family. I want to feel the pleasure with her.
Why am I having such feeling? All my friends love this phase of bachelorhood where they say that as they do not have any responsibility so its time to enjoy and fly. I am not able to enjoy this phase of bachelorhood…why? Is it because as I am single, so I need a girl to satisfy my physical needs or is it a signal that I am now ready for marriage?
Please help me! I am not able to stay happy as i feel so low all the time.
Answers ( 2 )
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Ansh, there is a very thin line separating the feeling of being bored for the majority of the week and depression and based on your question you are drawing circles around that line.
Let me give you some valuable advice coming from the guy with a failed 7 year relationship. Never ever put all your happiness on some other person. Not on a girlfriend, a wife or kids. If you do put your happiness on others, it’s a one way ticket to become clinically depressed over time.
Marriage or a relationship is not some fairyland that you can go to remove all your boredom. Most couples get bored of each other within 2 years and if the couple are really good at it, the happiness will last only for about 7 years after which it becomes another chore. You yourself have seen in this forum how many couples go into extra marital affairs to be happy. So please, re evaluate why you want to get into a relationship or get married.
And there is a 20% chance that I am wrong and I seriously wish that I am wrong. You might even think I am an asshole for saying that you may be depressed. But please get yourself evaluated by a certified psychiatrist, it won’t take more than 15 mins. Being depressed is an abyss that becomes more and more tough to get out as time passes without getting therapy.
And you have to be mentally matured to be able to have a successful marriage. In my view it’s the ability to stay calm while your loved one is shouting at/ angry and you can say why they are acting that way and calm them down.
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I think it’s it’s time u start thinking about being in relationship. Marriage may look like a better option but I think u should give urself some more time. Live in relationship maybe a better option for u since u long to have someone special in ur life. But It’s u to take a call. I think it’s time to focus on building ur career.
Whatever u r imagining, it’s beautiful. Along with someone special comes so many special responsibilities. Are u ready for that??? Think about it.