Do people lose the urge for sex if they are childless for long?
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Hello fellow members,
I am 31, male and my wife is 29. We are now married for 1.5 years and have not yet planned for a child. We have settled out of India temporarily and I meet many Indian couples who are more or less in the age group of late 30’s or early 40’s. One thing I note is that rarely do any of them have kids.
My question is: why is it so? and if so, do they really feel satisfied with each other? I have seen a tendency in few of the ladies in the group, that they feel the need of sex. I mean just by the body language and tone. Please don’t get me wrong. I am satisfied with my partner. I just wonder what are the feelings in such stage in life?
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There was a time, not so long ago where our grand parents raised five children under lavish structure. Although it is still prevalent in county (village) area’s, urban cities due to high quality of life and limited economic means of income resulted in break up of joint family to nuclear ones.
So LJJ, when a child is center of attention in marital life, they can influence intimacy and financial levels among couples. Father’s lack that sexual intimacy citing it as biggest downfall of their relationship whereas mother’s may want to have sex less often due to constant demands of the child.
Two things are to be notice in above paragraph:
First keep in view, that today’s couple are more well-being oriented with a penchant for constant traveling and comfort living.
Secondly, there is a selfish outlook in these couples as they desire to lead carefree and give significance to hedonistic tendencies (having sex or trying other alternative lifestyles such as swapping, swinging)
Many may cite finance as an issue so as to give child a quality education and living. But it’s lame excuse nonetheless because throughout life, they may be left to defend this decision of remaining childless, making other’s feel sympathetic and sensitive thinking perhaps the female has biological issue but truth is, they shunned a biological instinct of procreation to lead pleasure seeking and *easy* life.
If raising a child becomes optional, then isn’t dating or marrying itself an option?
Such couples should seek balance in moving with culture-nature flow and be realistic in approach.
If i look further in, may be such couples are cowardly and prophecy a lot regarding future (what if child goes out of hand? What if they turn out handicap? What if something wrong happens?) Just as smell of
blood sends sharks in frenzy, fears manifest the more we think about them.
It would need conviction from a partner that its better to have even a child (than five children grand parents raised) and see the world, be on vacation, educate and keep faith in their parenting skills, consistency and fruit fullness in giving. A puppy, two cats and a zoo at home cannot replace liveliness and interactive values a child can bring in harmonizing new set of skills in human being.
Even women suffering from fibroids these days, opt for adoption, advanced IVF procedures or intuitive ones freeze their eggs early because of innumerable reasons a child can give in adding dimension to the family. In a nutshell, they are your biggest and proudest of creations! (:
VERDICT: In the end, such a marriage will end in old age in solitude, with the bitterness of really bad solitude!