Have you ever had a quickie?

It could have been anywhere… at a family gathering in the upstairs bathroom before someone noticed you missing… at your workplace restrooms during the 5 minute coffee break before that incredibly life-altering conference… in the changing room of a lingerie store because, come the fuck on!

The thing with quickies is they’re… well, quick. But, is there a minimum or maximum on how quick can a quickie really be? And if there is, then how are you getting the most out of that quickie?

What’s the point of a quick romp?

It’s when you’re horny as fuck and you can’t keep your hands to yourself and you want to blow each other’ brains out but, for some reason, you have a time constraint—just like in the cases explained above. That’s what quickies are for. And honestly, by the time you get down to it, the two of you should be on the verge of being wet and/or hard for one another. That’s what makes it a quickie because half the work has already been done.

Here’s what a Quickie means

–          There’s usually no time for foreplay. A quickie does not allow you time for oral sex. It’s the most basic ‘get-in-get-on-get out’ method. You’re either down with it, or you’re not.

–          It’s not about the nudity. Remember when Madonna and Justin Timberlake had six minutes to save the world? Yeah, same thing. And you can’t factor in your good looking naked selves into it. Because, darling you can’t have everything.

–          You have to keep it hush. Because most of the time, a quickie implies that you’re sneaking out and trying to get it on, without giving it away to others. Also, most times, it’s in a public washroom or a changing room which, again, means you need to be silent.

–          You need to know you tricks. By tricks I mean, you should by now, have certain ways that you can get him, or her off and over the edge without trying for too hard and too long.

–          It’s about one person. As sad as that might sound, it’s true. It’s a quickie. There’s no way both of you are going to cum together, unless you’re both THAT easy to get off. So, decide who’s going to be the benefactor and focus on getting them off. Let them return the favour next time.

So how do you make the most of your 5-minutes of pleasure?

1. Be Prepared

The sign of someone who’s good at quickies—and for that matter, good in bed, period—is that they’re always prepared. This means you have the condom bit sorted; along with the fact that you and/or your partner know how to slip it on in no time at all, whatsoever.

2. Snag A Corner

You need to keep an eye out for potential places you can get it on with your partner, without being noticed. The spacious closet on the first floor of the family house that no one uses, the basement that no one cares about, the car when it’s parked under a well spread out low bush that can hide just about anything. The awkwardly narrow alley behind the building, the abandoned washroom on one of the office floors—mark your territories and mark them well.

3. Build It Up

Before you actually get down to the actual act, you need to build it up. Remember this is a quickie; you don’t have time to play around. It’s strictly business. So, make a phone call, text if you must but get your partner so anticipated that you could take them right then and there with complete confidence. If you’re good at sexting, then use your typing skills and combine them with your kinkiest thoughts.

4. Dress Light

By light, we don’t mean in a vest and underpants, only; especially if you’re at a pub, a mall or in an office. But, that doesn’t mean you need to button up too much. The same goes for your partner, an easy front opening is all you need to get the job done.

5. Standardise Your Go-To Moves

You have to have at least two to three positions in mind to be able to get it on in a time (and space) constraint. These positions should work anywhere—a washroom, a closet, a cubicle, you name it. The cowgirl with her on your lap, up against the wall works fine. Bonus if you know a few more.

6. Don’t Over-analyse

It’s a quickie which means you don’t have time to analyse or think too much about whether or not you’re doing it right. No time for questions and reassurance mid-coitus. I never thought I’d say this, but you’ve got to be practical here.