I want to desperately FORGET this ‘GIRL’. How?
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Hello, I am Rahul. My apologies for my user name lol. I am 27 and I was in love with a girl for 2 years. Now she care about me. She just used me as a time pass item.
When I asked about our future, she just tried to friend zone me and finally she did that and like an idiot I am checking her Facebook activity daily thinking that she might one day ping me. This went on for a year. Seriously, I want to forget this girl completely and to move on in my life.
Daily I tell my self that today I am not going to see her activity on FB but at the end of the day, I become an idiot and start stalking her on FB again. This cycle goes on daily. How to erase this girl from my head and tell my inner soul that this girl is dead for me and like she is no more.
Please, I want to move on in my life and this matter is not letting me do anything serious in my life. HELP Me.
Answers ( 3 )
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Dear friend, I can understand your situation. Yours is not a rare case. Many go through this, boys and girls, men and women. You had some time together, you liked her. ok. Now she wants to move on. Every person has right to decide with whom he/she wants to be friends/ which relation is to be continued, which should be severed etc. Now she does not need you/ want you. What is wrong with it.
When you were a kid you were fond of many things and you became a teenager you forgot all about it and your priorities became many things else. Wants and likes of people change. We cant expect a person to be our friend/ girlfriend for ever. People change, their preferences chane. This will happen to you also. Now you know that she is not interested in you any more why do you want to be possessive about her. If i dont like you, will you like to be friends with me ? No. Similar is the case here to.
Now listen carefully.. You can not do any thing to forget her. But you can do many things to remember/ think of many other things.If somebody asks you not to think about a red colored crow, you keep on thinking about it. Let the act of/ process of forgetting her take place naturally.
Thoughts are abstract they can not be controlled directly. Only things that are concrete can be controlled, affected directly. So engage in rigorous physical activity/ exercise. Be always busy. Find nice things to think about/ dram about. As they say this so called love is not all that divine. Sex is the base of all that infatuations. Why dont you think about sex. Surely you would have seen many girls/ women who are more attractive than her. Why dont you try having sex/ paid sex ( safe sex) with some one. It will help you understand there are other girls/ women in this world.
Dont feel rejected and do not start thinking that that you are worthless as a man.Dont be angry with her. You can thank her for freeing you..
physical exercise will make you feel good about yourself. If join a gym and start work out in months you will be feeling happy that you are more calm and confident and of course more fit attracting a lot of female attention.
You will be forgetting all about her naturally with out doing any thing to forget her.
Try this let us know the results after 3 months. (Friend, I have also gone through this experience, i am 58 now)
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I can understand your pain but the realities are, she does not care about you and used you as a time pass. Accept that she never meant for you and she is not for you. I know how complicated to forget someone who was dear to us as I am facing the same state of affairs which you are. I broke up with my girlfriend after five years of relationship and now we are not together anymore. Many times, I use to check her face book up dates but it is not affecting my daily life as I thoroughly accept that we are not for each other. Forgetting is an automatic process, what you need to do is ignore her thoughts and do not try hard to stop her thoughts, as it is not possible. More you try to stop her thoughts more you are into it so just be relax and let the time pass. Do not analyze your relationship with and never come to conclusion what went wrong, as some relationship does not need introspect. Find suitable match for you and unite with her.
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Last time I broke up, i used something known as the kubler Ross’s 5 stage psychological grief reaction method to get myself out of the 5 stages as soon as possible. I evaluated myself based on how I was progressing through these stages and how fast I was going through it. While going through these stages, I used an appropriate method to negate the I’ll effects of the emotional condition of that stage. Kubler Ross had made these stages originally for the grief reaction of patients who were diagnosed with terminal conditions, but it applies very similarly to being rejected or dumped in a relationship.
The 5 stages are anger, denial , bargaining, depression and acceptance , I’ll elaborate all of them
1) anger : this comes immediately after the break up. You’re so angry that you may want to hurt the other person physically or mentally. you are well past this stage
2)denial : this is where you deny to accept the reality that happening around you. You actively try to seek out that person and hope that she still likes you deep within and think that she has made a mistake. You are still in this stage unfortunately, you’ll hate me for this too. You have to stop the denial that she’ll ever come back to you and try to contact you. Best way to speed this process is to cut off all the strings that attach her to you like phone number, pictures, messages , fb friendship, etc.
3) bargaining : this stage is where people would do anything to get the other back, some people would contact the person and tell that they would do anything, change anything about themselves while in very severe cases may even attempt suicide
4) depression : this comes after the bargaining fails , but can come right after the denial stage too, and best to get you through this stage is having a good support group like friends and family , also this stage is where people get hooked into the rebounds relationships to a person that they may not even like.
5) acceptance : may the peace be finally upon you. You may think about the person rarely , but you will not care about her after you come to this stage.
I know my answer is very clinical and cold hearted, but it worked wonders for me. I came out of a 7 year relationship , used this method and was at the stage 5 in two months.