Is “break up” the solution to this problem ?
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Hi to All,
I ask this question on the behalf of my friend. Actually she has a bf and she loves him. But recently she found him with another girl. When she asked him about her he said that the girl is his friend. Then my friend told him to be in relation with one. He told her that he can’t leave that girl, and if she ws interested in him then she should keep quiet otherwise she should break up.
He also asked her for sex some days before but she doesn’t want sexual relation before marriage and that they were to get married to each other. But now the situation has changed. If he can’t leave that girl for his future wife than how can he marry her.
My friend is so confused because she doesn’t want any sexual relation before marriage & her bf is not looking serious about their relation & asking to have sexual relation.
Now, what should she do? Should she carry on or should she “break up” because her boyfriend only wants her for sex and entertainment. She is so much confused and needs your help?
Answers ( 3 )
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Are you sure it is your friend’s problem? Your friend seems very close to you to confide in you. Ok, anyway, let us look at a solution.
Have you heard about doormats? They are placed at the entrance of the house, inviting guests to wipe their feet on them, before entering the house. Your friend is behaving like that. No one can trample on you, unless you allow them to. I agree that this is an emotional matter and involves the heart. Your friend, has invested her time, emotions and dreams of marriage in this relationship, so it is but natural, that she will be broken.
She should thank her stars that she has found out the character of her boyfriend (to be future husband) in advance. All he wants is sex with her. So obvious. He will get down on his knees, beg for forgiveness, show all kinds of love, just to get into her knickers. No doubt about it. It is a shame that there are such unselfish people, who don’t care about other’s emotions.
Advice your friend, to speak to the other girl and let her know that the same boy has been asking her for sex. The faster she calls off this relationship, the happier she will be. She will have her dignity intact and not be forced into sex just to keep a relationship going, as that will never work.
Wish your friend luck form all of us here at AA.
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”Heyy, plz handle with care and never operate(even touch) without my permission.”
After a month or later
You see, I’ve explored all its features, let me replace it with one.
Both these sentences are of the owner of same smartphones but there is a gap of a month or later. So here this smartphone was trapped but couldn’t do anything.
Don’t you think that your friend is in somewhat similar situation?? But fortunately, unlike smartphone she can do many things. Yeah, after a few more try to change him, she should dump him.
As told by sir longhands1, I too agree that she must have sacrificed her time, money for him and is emotionally involved. But think, does this sacrifices mean anything if it is not valued, not valued by the person for whom these sacrifices are.
Okay, there is another thing. Sometimes, it happens that you love someone but you are not aware of this or you have somone but you don’t value untill he/she is gone. So I suggest that before leaving him forever, she should simply try to act as if she too doesn’t care much for him. An act of leaving him. I know it would be emotinally tough for her but it may do the magic. I suggested this she love him very much and won’t be it better for her if he changes. And if still he is the same, I think you know now what shuld she do.
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i dont think break up is the only solution. You need to understand generic trend of young guys and girls of now a days.
A guy will be looking for sex, it doesnot matter how many of them, but he would like to explore more. The reason is, a guys pleasure is on his physical pleasure. For a girl, if she is on certain age, physical takes over moral issues, but again, if mentally a girl is not settled, she doesnot spread her legs.
Keeping that in mind, this guy is looking for some sex, as he is getting a marriage clause. He is exploring his possibility. For this girl, she shouldnot break up right away, rather look for her options too, try find the person who would agree to her terms. Once she finds, she can dump him. Till then, its better to accept the fact that a male and female can be very good friends without any touch of sex. If he is desperate to keep that girl, means he really trust her and share a lot of talks, most likely there is no sex involved.
But girls are always jealous before marriage, but it always is found the guy who had an open view on male female friendship before marriage is more protective after marriage.
Tell this girl to keep the relationship, dont keep suspect her boyfriend, and keep looking for her own options. Afterall male will be male, when they see its a boyfriend girlfriend relationship and a possible marriage is underway, he sure will expect to have sex. If she is not spreading her legs, means she still dont think there is any future.
What do you think Manoj, is my logic too dumb?