I’ve never had sex with my wife.
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I (29) have never had sex with my wife (27f). We’ve been together for 7 years and have been married 3 years. She has vaginismus and has been working hard at trying to overcome it by dialating at least once a week. I try to support her and be patient but I’m so sexually frustrated and it’s affecting my mental health. I often turn to porn to escape this frustration and it only makes things worse by desensitising me to any sexual activity her. I don’t tell her this because I don’t want her to feel bad and it will only make me look selfish. It’s often a sensitive topic in conversation. I can’t tell anyone close to me because I’ll feel shame and embarrassment and if my wife ever finds out anyone knows, then it’s even more embarrassing and shameful. This is why I’m using a throwaway account.
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I have it too. I tried going to a doctor about it when I was 21/22 but I was dismissed. Took matters into my own hands with a dilator at 24. Once a week would not have been enough for me. I had to use it every day for a long time. Once I was able to use the biggest one mostly comfortably, then I tried out sex.
I’m nearly 28 and super lazy with dilating, but I’m able to have sex. The first few pumps still hurt, but my boyfriend goes slow and waits until I say he can pick up speed. It’s rare that I’ll have to stop sex from the pain.
We do a lot of other sexual stuff too in case it hurts a lot. The more wet I am, the better. I need lots of clitoral stimulation prior to penetration. It works out well