People who have had threesomes love to brag about it more than any other sexual experience.

Having more than one partner at a time – especially when they’re both pleasing you – is one of the ultimate taboos.

But, what’s the reality behind this fantasy? I can give you some tips to make sure your threesome story-worthy.

1. It’s nothing like it is in porn

There are body parts making funny farty noises, slapping against each other, sweating profusely, and a lot of re-adjusting position. Best leave your video camera at home.

2. It can get a little confusing

It really is quite amazing no one’s made a dance mat to help you out in this situation

Should I put my legs up, or roll over into doggy? Is it better if I give you a hand, or use my mouth?

With body parts shifting wildly, you’ll have to think on your feet and embrace the moment to get the most out of your three-way.

3. Don’t be afraid to laugh

Laughing is an easy way to diffuse any discomfort and let go when your fantasy doesn’t go perfectly. Don’t let that fanny fart break your momentum, or confidence.

4. It’s not about two guys loving, pleasing and adoring you

Romance and affection are only in the movies. This is a more ‘all-round’ and intense experience – so to speak – with stuff coming at you from all angles. Not for the faint-hearted.

5. Keep attraction in mind

Same-sex threesomes like F/F/F and M/M/M are kind of easy. Everyone is (generally) attracted to each other.

But if you’re in a F/M/M or M/F/F threesome, or two people aren’t attracted to each other, things can get tricky.

More pressure is put on one person to please the other two – and it can be exhausting.

6. Stay open-minded

Combat awkwardness with a dedication to break outside your comfort zone. Haven’t kissed a girl before? Now’s your chance!

Never given another guy a reach-around? Go for it! Don’t break any hard limits, but don’t be afraid to try something new either.

7. Try not to pair off

Well these three look like they’re having a whale of a time, don’t they?

Even if you’re enjoying one person more than the other, it can be a serious buzzkill to leave someone out of the fun.

Make sure everyone is included – even if you’re simply rubbing their chest while your mouth and privates are busy doing other things.

8. Be prepared to thrust both hands wildly about…

… like you’re getting the last drop of ketchup out.

9. Your mouth will never be closed

Prepare to have your mouth working at all times, whether it be moaning or occupied.

10. You may or may not get bodily fluids all over you

Your body and the bedsheets will be covered though. Have some tissues by the bed and prepare to do laundry the next day.

11. Best friends and boyfriends don’t mix

Another metaphor. Is it me or does that banana look super happy?  

If you have a threesome with your partner and your BFF, you may never be able to shake the visual of them getting it on.

If you don’t want to view them with suspicion, save the threesome for a stranger.

12. If it’s with your partner, discuss your terms

Define your ‘hard limits’ before you’re too deep. Are you fine with blow jobs, but not penetration?

Let your partner know and stick to the rules. Have a safe word in case you get uncomfortable. If your first threesome goes well, you can adjust the rules for next time.

13. Regardless of who you’re with, stay safe

You’ll probably need more than this

Be sure to switch condoms between sex acts and partners – even if you know everyone involved.

You never know the history of who they were sleeping with before you.

14. Decide if it’s a secret

Word can get out in tight knit communities, especially if the people in your menage a trois brag about their accomplishment.

Make it clear beforehand if you don’t want the details going further than the bedroom.

15. Couple swaps, group sex, and orgies…

… are usually much better. If you’re having a threesome and two people get hot and heavy, the third wheel can feel left out.

Invite another person into the mix to ensure that everyone will have a fabulous time.