So 4 years ago I had a conversation with my wife about our sex life falling off. During this conversation my wife told me she wasn’t interested in sex anymore and that she had been having sex with me because she wanted to make me happy and felt it was her duty as my wife. That sketched me out quite a bit.
So over the next year and a half, I went through a range of motions. I was angry at her, at myself, wondered how I could fix it, etc. Then one day I realized their was nothing I could do, it wasn’t my fault, and that their was more to life than sex. We have 3 wonderful kids, an otherwise happy marriage, and a comfortable life. It was like a weight off my shoulders. When I felt the urge, I rubbed one out and went on with my day.
Now, all of a sudden my wife says her sex drive is back. When she tries to initiate sex, I just tell her no thank you. She asked what was wrong and I explained to her the situation. I can’t tell if she’s angry about it, but I don’t care. She refused to go to some kind of couples therapy 4 years ago. To be honest, knowing she was having sex with me just because she thought she had to has kind of ruined the experience for me. Not having to deal with the mess has made me much happier
Edit: So this blew up. I don’t think I was very articulate about this so I’ll clear something’s up. She wasn’t and isn’t on birth control or antidepressants or any medication. Our oldest was 12 and our youngest was 7 when this conversation happened. What I mean by I’m happier is I spent years after this conversation agonizing over how to fix this. Was it my fault? Is there something I could do? Is she not attracted to me anymore? Is she seeing someone else? Everyday these thoughts ran through my head. When I finally said fuck it, it’s beyond my control and accepted the situation, I was much happier.