I have this friend of mine who is in the same class(12th grade) as me and we have known each other for one year now. She has rocking hot body. Actually we were best friends and we shared everything and talked about every damn thing. It didn’t take me long to realize that she was somewhat different. I mean you won’t find a girl with such a high sex drive as her in Kolkata. We were very dependent and we helped each other with everything-from integrations in maths to conversions in organic chemistry. I eventually fell in love with her, not because of her body and perversion, but for what she was from inside (which I later found out to be fake). There was no approval, but not a rejection either. I don’t know why but she’s the one who actually planned our marriage. I repeat, there was no steady approval to my proposal.

Apart from studies, we talked about sex and masturbation a lot. We were total perverts. We watched porn a lot, mainly when she was on her periods. She loves gangbang (where there’s one girl and four-five guys) and hardcore videos. She told me how she always fantasized of getting brutally fucked by a number of guys and she used to masturbate to that. This was horrifying. She actually wanted to get raped? We used to masturbate and text each other. One evening we were watching porn on our evening walk. She let me touch her private parts (over her clothes, of course). I really respected her body but it was hard to control too. I did touch her bosoms and crotch. She touched my tool over my pant but we didn’t go farther though it was a quiet place. That night she asked a picture of my penis. Watching porn is something but sending pics is something else (she wasn’t ready to send hers though)?  I asked her once more if she loved me. She didn’t answer. I diverted her request by sending a few porn videos. A few days later she asked for a one-night-stand. Call me back dated but I wanted to stay pure before marriage. I wanted commitment first. But she refused. I refused to have sex or send pics.

From then our friendship started fading away. It happened so rapidly that I didn’t have time to think of anything. I kind of feel stupid now, how I fell for her even after knowing that she has had four physical relationships in the past. I really loved the bonding we shared. We were there for each other on any matter. She actually shattered me into pieces and now I can’t seem to trust any girl. I have learnt enough from her and I have moved on. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fall for a girl again. This seems like the end.

I heard she’s with a guy now and they’ve had sex too. I don’t care honestly. I am proud of myself that I’ve not lost my virginity to her. Did I do wrong?